The Rise of Gods and Alchemy!
by The Pheonix Alchemist
Summary: A fullmetal alchemist and Percy Jackson crossover, that shows the return of pride, and the rise of a new state alchemist! I am collaborating with my sister, the pH alchemist, to make this the most interesting crossover ever!
1. The beginning of the end

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal alchemist or its trademarks, nor do I own percy jackson and its trademarks.

SO ALL THOSE WHO READ THIS KNOW, I WROTE THIS STORY WITH MY SISTER, THE pH ALCHEMIST!

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NEWS FLASH! CENTRAL CITY NEWS HEADLINES

NEW STATE ALCHEMIST IS CHOSEN. HE IS KNOWN AS THE PHOENIX ALCHEMIST. WHAT HE DOES IS STILL UNBEKNOWNST TO US, BUT WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM IN ACTION!

The first thing I realized was that I was in the woods. A cold breeze swept past me. Using my arms, I pushed myself up. It took my eyes mere seconds to adjust to the impending darkness that surrounded me. My hands went to my face. I still had everything. My eyes gazed downwards. I could still feel both my feet and legs. I wiggled my right arm in my view. I didn't bother checking my left arm, he already took that. It was a good thing that I had a tune-up a few days before, because otherwise, my auto-mail wouldn't have survived the trip.

The other thing I noticed right away was that I wasn't alone.

There was a campfire not 30 yards away from me. I told myself to calm down, and ask whoever was around the campfire where I was. And if they didn't talk, I had remedies for them. Sneaking up, being careful not to step on anything in my path, I began to catch parts of their conversation. At first it sounded like gibberish, but I began to piece together their garbled speech little by little.

" ...few days...gods..."

"...war over...bolt...zeus will...end...human apocolypse..."

"...can't be war...survive..."

I coughed. "Excuse me, can anybody tell me where I am?" Three teenagers jumped up from around the fire. One pulled out a sword, another pulled out a dagger, and yet another pulled out something that vaguely represented flute . " I think I may be in east Youswell, but with all these forests, I can't see any cities."

"What's Youswell?"

"Yeah. I've never heard of it."

"Are you from around here?"

I was suddenly bombarded by so many questions such as these that it took me awhile to catch up. When I answered most of them to the best of my abilities, they finally put their weapons away.

"So where did you say you were from?" the girl asked.

"I'm from the North area near fort Briggs, but I live in Central for my job."

They looked at me incredulously. "You have a job?"

"Yes. I'm a state alchemist. You've read the papers right, new state alchemist chosen, well, that's me, in the flesh."

"What's a state alchemist?"

"What's central?"

I was starting to get worried. "You know, Central City, the capital of Amestris? Isn't that the country I'm in?"

"I've never heard of Amestris, but I have heard of America. That's where we are now. Actually...I think we are three hours south of Manhattan."

"Manhattan? Is that a country east of Xing?"

"First of all," the guy with the flute said (becoming somewhat annoyed), "Manhattan is a district of New York City. And second, What's with your arm?"

"What. Oh, this? This is my auto-mail. Hand crafted by one of the best in the business. It's what allows me to clap transmutate." And to demonstrate my point, I clapped and made a statue of myself. "Pretty cool, huh?" They looked at me with their mouths open so far, their lower jaws were practically on the ground.

"How did you do that?"

"Dude, that is like not humanly possible."

"Are you a demigod like us?"

"What's a demigod?" I asked them, completely baffled.

The boy patted a spot on the ground next to him, indicating that I sit next to him. He reached out his hand, implying for me to shake it. I did so.

"Percy Jackson." he said. "Son of Poseidon."

"I'm A.J. Monroe." I replied. "State Alchemist."

"I'm Annabeth Chase." the blonde girl said. "Daughter of Athena."

"Grover Underwood." the short stubby kid said. "Satyr."

"He's half goat." Annabeth said, noticing my expression.

"The goat's a demigod?" I asked skeptically.

"No. Demigods are the children of a god and a mortal." the girl explained.

"So are you guys also gods, or no."

"No, just mortals, but we can gain..." she paused for the right word, "special abilities. Kinda like your clapping thing."

"That's how I perform my alchemy. Usually, people need to draw transmutation circles to perform alchemy, but not me."

"Why?" Grover asked. I hesitated. This wasn't a subject I was too keen on elaborating. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I replied, and the boy Percy loooked at me suspiciously.

"How can we trust you." He asked. "How do we know you're not a monster?"

"You mean the things that hide under kids' beds? 'Cause I can assure you, kids will be singing my praises, not scaring eachother."

Silence.

The fire dying, and we were all tired.

"Ok, 'alchemist'." The one called Annabeth said (with air quotes around alchemist). "Go get some firewood. Then we'll see about trusting you."

"Hey, look at this from my perspective." I sized her up. "I just dropped out of nowhere into a foreign country with 'gods' and 'demigods' (yes, i did air quotes) and weapons all shiny, and I can't even warm my automail up because you think I'm some sort of boogeyman! Talk about trust issues." I stomped off into the woods, using the Pulse to guide me.

"Don't you need a torch?" Grover asked.

"Don't need light to see, dumbass!" I called back.

_Geez_. I thought_. Who do these people think they are? A guy with the rank of a major waltzes up to thier fire with an innocent question, and _bam_, he's treated like some sort of outcast. _I found some twigs. _And what about this _Manhattan_ and _America_? Did Pride actually do it? No, impossible. There's no way he could have dragged me here without a toll. Unheard of, but I can bet a few of my professors would give a lot for that information._

They were wispering again, around the fire. I realized this was going no where fast. Yes, I realized they were talking about me, but did I want them to know that? I may be 16, but I'm not a douche bag.

I dropped the firewood at their feet. "Look, I know you don't trust me. What will it take for you to?"

Percy and Grover looked at Annabeth, and I inferred that in Manhattan things were based on a matriarchal society. "Take first watch. Percy will sit up with you. But don't try anything funny."

"Yeah." Grover added, trying to sound tough.

I shrugged. "Fine with me." I sat down next to the fire, finally getting the warmth I asked for. Annabeth placed her dagger at her side, and Grover was already out. Percy was staring into the flames pensively.

"You look like the kind who lost a parent." I asked. Percy continued to stare

"What makes you say that?" He asked.

"'Cause that's how I looked at your age. Broken and alone."

Percy turned to me. "You lost a parent? Does it have to do with that?" He pointed to my arm.

"I'm guessing you're about 12, correct."

"Yeah, so?"

I sighed at the memory. "I was that age when I became interested in alchemy. I had heard about it, but never seen it performed. I come from a small village in the North, one of the last before Briggs. News comes to us last, and along with technology." I was taken back to my childhood, the one I forsake chasing the impossible. "My father was killed in Ishval, and left my mother and I sustain the general store. We barely scraped by, year after year. I started to research alchemy because I thought you could turn lead into gold." I chuckled. "Boy was I wrong."

"So, what happened?"

"Another rebellion sprung up, this time after I got a job. I was a repariman in a suburb of East City, using my primitave alchemical skill to build and fix houses. All the money I earned I sent back to my mother and the store, any cenz helped." I bowed my head. "My village was razed in an uprising, no one left alive. Coincidently, I was on my way home for the weekend. When I arrived...chaos. My mother was burried in the rubble of her own store."

"I'm sorry."

I slammed my hand down on the ground. "Don't be. That's not the end. What I did afterwords, my choice to go against everything I ever learned about alchemy, _that's_ the unforgivable part. But, I got what I deserved. I did honest work with my own two hands to support my only mother, the only one left for me." I laughed at the irony. "I can't work with only one hand, can I?"

"What did you do?" Percy demanded. "What is so unforgivable." Should I tell him? Sure, he didn't trust me. The real question was, how could I trust him? "I understand." Percy realized. "No trust, right? Why should I tell you? It's ok. Annabeth is like that."

"It will be a story for a later date." I decided. The sun was rising, the fire snuffing out. I could tell from the Pulse that Annabeth and Grover never truely slept. That's ok. Everyone needed to hear my story.

"I guess you could come with us." Percy said and stood up.

"Yeah. We could use someone with your skill." Annabeth said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "What if I hide under your bed?"

"Ha ha, very funny." Annabeth said sarcastically.

Grover kicked some dirt over the fire. "We better get going. We only have a few days."

"Until what?" I asked

"We'll explain on the way." Percy said, and started walking away.

"Do you have any idea where we are going?"

"Yeah. We're on the highway to Hell."

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How do you like the story so far? Is it good? Bad? Ugly? Please Review and let us know!


	2. Medusa

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK! I FINALLY HAD TIME TO UPDATE WITH MY SISTER (WHO IS COLLABORATING WITH ME TO WRITE THIS STORY)! I HOPE YOU ENJOY! Disclaimer: I still do not own Percy Jackson or fullmetal alchemist.

*Added Note*- my sister and I are taking liberties on both FMA and Percy Jackson to make the story a bit more interesting. If something seems out of place or incorrect, it is probably that way for a reason

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Well, I was now officially a part of my own four man squad. We got along quite well (most of the time anyway). Percy explained that Hades took his mother in exchange for Zeus's master lightning bolt, which Percy has to deliver to Hades in order to get his mother back. I asked them if they took the bolt, and was met with a chorus of no's. The extent of their plan was to walk in to the Underworld and beg Hades to see their way. Good luck.

Another thing Percy and the gang warned me about were monsters. Monsters could be anywhere, they explained, hidden in the form of everyday mortals. I was told that only Celestial Bronze would hurt the monsters (sadly, I was fresh out), but I had yet to try out my alchemical skills on these beasts and was excited to try. Unfortunatly (or somewhat fortunatly), we didn't really have all that much trouble, until we got to the garden gnome shop. That was when our troubles began...

We had been walking for hours. The sun was now fully visible above the horizon, and used what little military training I had to determine the time to be about 8:00. I felt a hole in my stomach, and realized I hadn't eaten since my dinner at that crummy restaurant Pride lured me to. I chuckled when I heard Percy's stomach feeling the same way.

"Man, I am hungry." Percy said

"So am I." Grover replied (even though it sounded like he was bleating).

"It seems as if we are all hungry." Annabeth agreed. We started to keep an eye out for civilization, and a place to catch some grub.

Half an hour later: no luck.

"Hey A.J., can't you clap and make some food appear?" Percy asked, desperate.

"Sorry, man. I can only clap and make something if I have the ingrediants, and even if I did have the ingrediants, I don't know how to make food!" There was a collective groan.

"Wait. Hold on." Percy said, and the group stopped. "I think this is far enough." He turned to me. "Now. We've just walked a mile in eachother's shoes. I told you about my mother and the bolt, now you tell us about your arm."

I sighed. "Ok, ok. Equivalant exchange, right?" I chuckled at my own joke. "Actally, my story has to do with that same principle. As you heard from last night, my mother was killed in a village-wide massacre. I had, in my research, come across questionable alchemical practices which involved bringing people back from the dead. It had never been sucessfully done, but I had run out of options. It would have taken months to aquire all the necessary chemicals, but with my mother's body intact, there was no need. I spent the night searching through my notes, formulating the best possible plan of action. When I finally activated the circle, I realized it was too late. Nothing I could do could ever bring her back. In a flash I was decomposed and recomposed in another dimension. In order to pay for my sins, I had to give something up, equivalant exchange. A boy who worked with his hands to support his mother could no longer support even himself, for one needs both hands to do alchemy. I woke up without my arm, bleeding to death. If I hadn't made it to the clinic in time...The military investigated the massacre, and found the creature, the _thing_, I had created. They offered to pay for automail surgery if I agreed to become a State Alchemist, a dog of the military. I agreed."

"Why?" Grover asked. "Why try something you knew was going to fail?"

"My mother was the only thing worth living for after Ishval. She cared for me through everything, it was only right to repay her." I turned to Percy. "Look at you! You're going to the ends of the earth and beyond for your mother, though you have the chance of getting her back!" I stiffened. "But that's the past. I've tried to put it behind me; I can't let that shadow my life. I've moved on."

"Speaking of moving on, I think we should go." Grover said.

I had the chance to look around, and noticed it had gotten darker. I looked up, and couldn't see the sun. A thick fog had decended, obscuring our view.

"Well, if you can't bring your dead mother back to life, can you at least get rid of this fog?" Annabeth asked, a little annoyed.

"A human soul is in a different ballpark than condensed water vapor." Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You know what water is made of, right?" I asked.

"2 parts Hydrogen, 1 part Oxygen." she replied.

"Smarty pants." Percy jeered.

"Hey, my mother just so happens to be the goddes of _wisdom_"

"I should think you guys know the difference between knowledge and wisdom." I said sagistically. Annabeth stuck her toungue out at me, and I returned the favor.

"Just do it already." she said.

"Ok." I prepared myself. "A few rules. Hydrogen and Oxygen are highly flammable, so no open flames, got it?" I clapped my hands and deconstructed the fog. There was a slight woosh as all that Hydrogen and Oxygen entered the atmosphere.

A decrepit building came in to view. The paint was fading, the windows broken in, shingles were missing, and the sign held at an akward angle. The scariest thing was, there were statues. Everywhere. Big ones, small ones, even some as big as your head!

"Hey, we're in luck! There might be some food there." Anabeth exclaimed.

We walked in closer. As we got closer, the statues looked more and more lifelike, as if they were humans painted to look like statues. The faded sign finally came into view.

"Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium." I read. "Garden gnomes, huh, more like statues. Can't find a single garden gnome to save my life."

"It doesn't hurt to try." Grover said, almost running towards the door.

"I don't know." I said. "There's something about this place." I closed my eyes, and tried to tap into that dragon's pulse thing Alphonse keeps teaching about. Almost instantly, I could see the building through a weird, neon light pattern, almost like I was seeing in infra-red. I could no longer read the faded sign, it was just lights too. The scary thing was, the statues were giving off light, the kind Alphonse said living things would give off. You could tell how many living things there were by the kind of light it gave off. It was faint, like they were dying, but it was still there.

Another light caught my attention. This one was brighter, more alive, but different than Alphonse ever explained. Whatever it was, I didn't think they had any of them in Amestris.

A hand on my wrist brought me back to the present. Percy was tugging at my arm. "Come on, all the others have gone." He rushed ahead into the building, and I followed.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" Percy called. There was silence for a moment.

I looked around. Still no gnomes, but the statues...So life-like. There was a smiling couple sitting on a bench, a little girl reaching down to pick up a stone flower. Annabeth froze in front of a statue of an angel, its hands covering its eyes.

Annabeth backed up. "Don't blink!" She whispered to us.

Percy smiled. "Blink, and we're dead!" he replied. I froze, staring at the statue. What happened if I blinked? My eyes began to water.

"BHAHAHAH!" Percy shouted and shook my shoulders. I'll admit, I screamed like a girl. Annabeth and Percy burst into hysterics.

"What was that about?" I asked, glaring at them.

They continued to laugh, leaning on each other now and wiping away tears.

"Dude," Percy said, "if that was an Angel, we'd _all_ be dead by now!"

I shook my head, and turned away from their laughing. But something caught my attention...

"Did that statue just move?" I asked, pointing to it. "I swear it was farther away." Percy and Annabeth stiffened.

"Move, now!" Annabeth said, and dragged us into another room.

"HELLO?!" Percy shouted again. We were met, again, with silence.

"Well, there's nobody here. Guess we'd better go." I said, knowing otherwise.

"Who are you? Are you customers?" a weird voice asked.

"That depends on what you sell." Anabeth replied, glancing back in the direction of the angel statue. Just at that moment, some freaky old lady staggered into the light.

"Oh my!" she shouted, "You kids look so thin! Come in, and I'll make you some hamburgers."

If there's one thing we all knew, is that you don't accept food from strangers. And this person _was_ a stranger. She was small, with hunched up features and arthritic hands. Her wrinkly face was accented by a pair of extra large sunglasses. And, like the Babushkas of old, she wore a head-scarf. Talk about strange.

"Are you not as hungry as you look?" the hag asked. I realized that she was the strange light I saw.

"Well, we _are_ hungry..." Grover said.

"Good, I was hoping someone would stop along. I haven't had visitors in such a long time..."

_Gee, I wonder why. _I led us to a back room where a small picnic table was set up. Surprisingly, there were four hamburgers set up at four places. Almost as if she was expecting us...

Percy, Annabeth, and Grover were already digging in. I looked at the monstrosity infront of me.

"Um, I'm sorry to ask, but what is a hamburger?" I said, poking at the thing on my plate.

Annabeth sat down her burger in shock, Grover nearly choked, and Percy did a spit-take with a glass of water he was chugging.

"You don't have hamburgers in Am-"

"American Samoa?" Annabeth cut Grover off and gave him a look.

"Nope. We are hamburger free in Samoa." I replied.

The witch smiled. "That's perfectly ok, I'll go check the back for something." she left.

"If it's all the same with you guys, I'm going to go find a restroom." Grover said, and hobbled away.

The hag came back with a bowl of cereal. That we definatly had in Amestris.

"Thank you." I said as she handed me the bowl and a spoon. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all...

"Where do you kids come from?" She asked. "And where are your parents?"

"We're from New-" Percy started.

"-Jersey." I said, finshing with the name of a place I saw on a street sign. If she knew where they truly were from, she could figure out who Percy and Annabeth really were.

"Oh, New Jersey." the hag said and smiled. "I've never been there. And your parents?"

"There was a wreck." I said. Improvising was my speciality. "Our parents stayed behind incase the cops came, and we were sent out to find food."

"Well it's good fortune that you found me. By the way, my name's Auntie Em." the lady told us. We ate silently for a while, but then auntie Em said,"You know what kids? Now that you're all done eating, I'd like you to pose for a picture for me. I'm an artist you know. I make stone sculptures."

"We've noticed." Annabeth said. "They're so life-like."

"Oh, I pride myself on making the most life-like statues."

"Wait a minute. what about the whole apocalypse thingy? We don't have time for a picture. Not to be rude ma'am." I said.

"ix-nay on the apocolypse-ay." Anabeth whispered with a hint of malice in her voice.

"It will only be a minute or two." Auntie Em assured me. "By the way, where did your friend wander off to?"

"Grover?" Percy asked. "Oh, he just went of to use the restroom, if you want, I can find him-"

"No, there's no need for you to get away, I mean, get lost. This place is very big. Anyways, go sit down, I'm sure you don't have all day."

Hesitantly, we made our way toward a bench in the back of the room. A old fasioned camera was set up infront of it. Percy and Annabeth sat down, but Auntie Em stopped me. "I have different ways of dealing with mortals." She hissed in my ear. She made her way over to the camera.

"Come sit down, A.J." Annabeth said, patting the seat next to her.

"Don't be such a party pooper." Percy agreed. I was too shocked to move. Did she just call me _mortal_?

Just then, Grover came crashing through the door.

"Close your eyes!" He yelled, and slammed into Percy and Annabeth.

Next thing I knew, there was this awful hissing sound, and then auntie Em's voice.

"No! I was so close. No demigod ever comes here and leaves." she screamed.

"Well, we'll just be going then!" I yelled. We all ran away, along the way, Grover filled us in on Auntie Em.

"That thing is medusa! One of the gorgons. She turns people tostoner by looking at them! So whatever you do, don't look her in the eye!" he shouted.

"You'll never escape!" medusa screamed, her footsteps echoing closer "You'll be traped in my lair forever!"

"Guys, we need to find a way out!" Anabeth yelled. "Head for the statues." She said, pointing to a maze of them. We followed and split up, looking for an exit.

"Remember the eyes!" Percy shouted.

"How can we fight her with out looking at her?" I asked.

"A mirror!" Annabeth said. "That's what Perceus used." I looked around for some glass or metal I could use to make a mirror. A rundown truck covered in weeds was rotting in the back, and I used it to fasion a mirror. Being careful to check around corners, i darted this way and that, trying to find somewhere to make an exit. I heard medusa's cackle, and realized she found someone. Using the dragon's pusle, I saw that she had Percy cornered. I transmuted a sword out of my arm, and approached medusa from the rear. When I got close enough, I slashed at her head. The sword went right through.

"Mere mortal weapons have no affect on me!" Medusa snarled and turned around. Luckily, I had scrambled into the next row.

"A.J. remember what I told you!" Percy shouted. "Only Celestial Bronze affects monsters."

"What about alchemy?" I said, and transmuted a fist out of one of the statues. There was a loud crunch and then a thud.

"You got her!" Percy shouted. There was a hissing sound. "Maybe not."

"Go for the head Percy!" Grover shouted. I saw the glint of Percy's sword, and the shunk of metal hitting flesh.

"Now she's gone." Percy said triumphantly.

"Put the glasses back on her." Annabeth said. "Then she's safe to look at." I walked around the corner when Percy said the coast was clear. Medusa's body was severed from the head, crushed under a fist of stone. Everyone sighed, and then started to laugh. High-fives were exchanged.

"Dude, can you make a sac to carry this thing around with? You know, with your whole clap make something thingy?" Percy asked.

"Um... Well I can, but I need some fabric, or something that can be woven." I told him.

"Well... Something that can be woven... Oh! How about this decorative grass!" he exclaimed.

"I'll give it a try, but I can't guarantee that it will work." I told him. So I claped and transmuted a grass-woven basket.

"Sweet." Percy said. He put medusa's head in the basket.

"Now, a way out would be nice." Grover said.

I walked over to the wall of the room and transmuted a door. "Ladies first." I said, and held the door open.

As we continued on our quest, I couldn't help but wonder. How was I supposed to get back home? Did anyone realized I was gone? Have they given me up for dead? We reached a train depot a few miles down. I transmuted some tickets and we were off to California. Sitting on the train, I thought this day was interesting, but that didn't even come close to what happened in St. Louis.

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WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? WAS IT GOOD? BAD? OR DOWNRIGHT AWESOME? PLEASE REVIEW AND KET US KNOW!


	3. The Awakening of Pride

WE HAVE RETURNED TO WITH A NEWLY UPDATED CHAPTER! OUR HEROES CONTINUE TO HAVE MISHAP AFTER MISHAP, AND THE STORY ONLY GETS BETTER! Disclaimer: I still don't own Percy Jackson or fullmetal alchemist. And now, our story!

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Riding a train is the most boring thing in the world, and trust me, there are plenty in Amestris. Looking out the window, there was nothing to see, nothing to do, and the food service sucked.

Luckily, the train managed to lull everyone to sleep. Sleep gave me no reprieve.

I was back in that white room of nothingness, vaguely aware of the gate looming ominously behind me. That creature infront of me smiled his wicked smile.

"I am the world." He spoke in his echoey, omniscient voice. "I am the universe. I am god. I am the truth. I am one, I am all, but most importantly," His arm reached out for me. "I am _you_!" I screamed and woke up. Percy, Annabeth, and Grover were staring at me.

"Just a dream guys." I reassured them.

"Who is the Truth?" Percy asked out of the blue. "Is he the reason you're here?"

"No." I said, shaking the cobwebs from my head.

"Then who is?"

"I was hoping you'd never ask. However, since we're all incredibly bored and tired, i'll tell you what happened. It all started the day my recovery fiished..."

* * *

I woke up and got the mail like I did every morning. I sifted through it, throwing away the junk, (which most of it was) until I came upon my acceptance letter. I was chosen to be a state alchemist. My test was in a few weeks, so I had to figure out what I was going to do, and fast. I specialize in volcanic eruptions, so if they wanted to see my skills, I told them they would have to travel to an area with lower population. When the day came, we went into a field, and they told me to show them what I could do. So I made a volcano in about 10 seconds, and then it exploded, quite literally. The field where the volcano once stood was completely gone, incinerated to nothingness. All that was left was a cooling lava flow. Everybody was thoroughly impressed, and I received my silver pocket watch, specifing that I was a state alchemist. I went back to my apartment and flopped down on my bed. I couldn't believe it. The job I'd been working towards my entire life was finally mine.

The next day, I woke up and got the mail just like I always did. But something different was in my mail stack. There was today's paper. The headline read: NEW STATE ALCHEMIST CHOSEN! I flipped through it some more, and then I found another interesting headline. BRADLEY FAMILY REPORTED MISSING! MRS. BRADLEY, HER SON, AND ALL THOSE WHO WORKED FOR THEM WERE NOT FOUND. ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THEIR WHERABOUTS WOULD BE APPREACIATED BY THE CENTRAL CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT. After reading that, I knew something was up. A whole Mansion's worth of people dosen't just disappear in one night. It wasn't humanly possible. After I finished sifting through my mail, a single letter emerged with the state alchemist's seal on the front. I opened it, and this is what it said:

Alexander Joseph Monroe,

Your official state alchemist title will be The Phoenix alchemist. We are throwing a party in your honor at a local restaurant. Would you care to join us?

-Fuher President Graman

Now if there was one thing you didn't do, it was reject an offer from the Fuher. So naturally, I accepted. That night, I went to the restaurant. The lights were on and music was playing, but there was no one inside. No Fuher, customers, wait-staff, anybody. Immediately, red flags were going up in my mind. All my instincts were telling me to leave immediately.

As I was about to go, a cold voice echoed around the room. "You can't be leaving so soon, you just got here." I whipped around. Dominating the shadows was no other than Selim Bradley. I did a double take. Wasn't Selim reported missing just this morning.

"Hello, Selim." I said venemously. "Word on the street is that you were reported missing. Was that a lie, or are you trying not to be found."

Selim chuckled, and I swore I saw little hands retreating deeper into the corners. "Graman's papers are correct, they only pick the cleverest of alchemists to do their dirty work."

Some of the lights went out in the restaurant, casting more of the room into darkness. Suddenly, I saw shadowey eyes creep across the walls, staying away from the light.

"Pride." I spat. "You really had everybody fooled." I remembered a story Al used to tell our class about how he and his brother vanquished the homunculi, a sect of super humans plotting to control god. Pride was one of theses homunculi, the only one to survive. He was reduced down to his true form by Al's brother Ed, apparently rid of his evil intentions. People still had thier suspicions, and I guess they were right. Pride stepped aside to reveal a table set for two. "Oh," I said with mock sweetness, "did you lure me here just to share a romantic dinner with me? I am _so_ honored."

Pride let out a laugh that could wake the dead. "You humans are so imbacillic. There's no reason we can't be civilized about this." The arms I saw earlier shot out and grabed me. I was dragged towards the table, and held down on the chair. "Please eat." Pride said, motioning towards the plate of spaghetti.

"It's poisoned." I replied.

Pride sneered, took a fork out of his pocket (god only knows why a fork would be there), and ate a mouthfull of the spaghetti. "See, nothing. Besides, I can't afford to kill a state alchemist like you."

"Don't tell me you are trying to rebuild the homunculi." I said between bites.

"I don't need their help. I can accomplish my plan without them."

"So you were always Pride, huh. You sure had us fooled. Graman, your mother. What would she think?"

"Don't make me laugh. My mother was nothing but cover." he told me.

"But what did you do to her? What did you do to the entire Bradley household?" I asked him.

"I turned them all into a philosopher's stone. That is why I am what I currently am." he replied with a smug grin. "Look down at your feet, alchemist. You should recognize this, no?" The hands released their grip on me. I stood up, and almost passed out.

"No, no, that can't be-"

"Yes. It is a Human Transmutation Circle, the very one you created to save your pitiful mother." I rushed to the door, only to have the hands blocking my way. "The first part of my plan is to rid myself of all the state alchemists in Amestris. Starting with you."

That's when the room went dark. "I've perfected the method for dragging people through these portals and through their gates." Pride's voice echoed in the darkness. "The toll is still iffy, but-" Pride activated the transmutation circle. Bright light shot up from the ground. A giant eyeball opened up below us. Black hands closed around me, and we disappearerd. I expected to appear in that white room with the man with only one arm for a body. I expected to see my gate looming behind me. But there was nothing. Nothing but darkness. Was that what Pride had meant, that he perfected his method? Had he figured out how to bypass the toll? Out of the darkness, there was a spec of light growing bigger and bigger.

"So long, state alchemist." I heard Pride say, and I woke up in those woods.

* * *

"So this Pride character is the one who's responsable for bringing you here?" Percy asked.

"Yes." I replied. "And probably my only hope of getting back."

"Why can't you go back?" Annabeth asked.

"I need to open a portal of truth. If I do, I can go through my gate. The only problem is, if I don't figure out how Pride got around the toll, I might end up having to pay it myself."

"What if Pride got stuck here?" Grover asked. "If you landed here, who's to say that Pride made it back? Maybe he landed somewhere else in that forest?" I paused. Could it really be true? Could Pride have gotten stuck here as well?

"It is possible, I guess. But even if he did, I would have to scour the entire world to find him."

"Unless he's trying to find you as well." Percy said.

"You've got a point. Pride needed to have me, an alchemist, there to help him activate the portal of truth, because he doesn't have a gate to travel through."

"Well, if this is the case, we just have to hope this Pride guy is smart enough to piece this stuff together."

"Trust me, he's small but smart."

"Attention passengers." said a voice on the P.A. system, "We are experiencing some technical difficulties, and we are now stopping in St. Louis. for repairs. The delay will be approximately six hours. Please enjoy St. Louis while we fix the train. Thank you!"

* * *

SO HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? WAS IT ALRIGHT? WAS IT AMAZING? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET US KNOW!


	4. The Incident at Gateway Arch

ANOTHER CHAPTER UP! YEAH! ENJOY! Typical disclaimer: We don't own Percy Jackson or Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

Well, that was that. We were going to be stuck in St. Louis for god only knows how long, and we had nothing to do until the train was fixed.

"I WANT TO SEE THE GATEWAY ARCH!" Annabeth screamed.

"Woah, woah. No need to scream, we're right here." I told her.

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME OFF, MORTAL!"She shot back.

"DO YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME, SHORTY?"I hollered, using the threat I usually use when provoking Alphonse's brother Edward (who surprisingly didn't hit his growth spurt untill just recently). We were just about to go at each other when Grover stepped between us and told us to cut it out.

"We can go to the Gateway Arch, so calm down, Annabeth. And please, on the way there, don't try to kill each other." he said sternly. I said it once, but I'll say it again. That was that. It took us a while to get there (even though the train station was in the middle of the city) because Annabeth was too busy marveling at the "wonderful architecture".

"See this building?" Annabeth pointed at a building that looked exactly the same as the building she last pointed out. "This building was designed in the early 1900's by an entripeneur with only $100 to his name. He got the idea when.." Yeah. That's how I wasted 3 hours of my life, 3 hours I'm desperatly trying to get back. If I get them back, maybe I can use them to get home (Not. I don't think the Truth accepts time out of your life.).

Aside from Annabeth's rambling, St. Louis was an amazing city. We don't have these super-sized cities in Amestris. Some of these buildings have floors in the 20's! The largest building I've ever been in was Central HQ. An incredible feature of this city is that a river runs through it. Annabeth said that all of the major cities in America were build on or near a large body of water to provide not just water, but food and transportation. Seeing the inginuity of these people makes me feel embarassed to call my self an Amestrian.

After those lost three hours in the blazing sun (I swore I lost a few pounds with all the sweating I've been doing), we arrived at the Gateway Arch.

"Gateway Arch. The gateway to the west. Now this, is a real acrhitectural marvel."Anabeth said matter-of -factly. Whoopee. This was going to be a great visit. "Gateway Arh was built to commemorate Lewis and Clark's start of their journey West. Back in their time, St. Louis was the farthest West anyone had traveled. Lewis and Clark started their journey from here in..."

"You guys go ahead," said Grover, trying to get Annabeth to shut up, " I'm afraid of heights."

"Suit yourself." Annabeth shrugged and continued her rant.

The elevator doors opened, and a surge of people, including Percy, Annabeth, and I, filed in...with Annabeth still rambling on. As the elevator ascended, I got a hole in my stomach. I looked out the windows conveniently placed to scare the shit out of people. St. Louis was shrinking down to the earth, making me feel as if I should have stayed with Grover as well. The elevator started to curve a bit as we rounded the arch, making me want to hang on to someone for dear life. Annabeth was still talking. I thought about transmuting a crowbar to bash her head open with, but thought better of doing it in a public area. The elevator lurched, and i stumbled backwards into a lady wearing a fur coat. In June.

"I'm sorry ma'am." I said. She just sniffed, and the dog she was carrying growled at me. I gave them a sideways glance and returned to my original position. The elevator finally came to a halt, and the conductor told everyone to scram, but very nicely. We spilled out onto the observatory, and I almost died.

_2 hours later..._

"And that is the completely unabriged history of the gateway arch." Come on, you all know who said that.

"Yes, Annabeth," Percy said very sarcastically, "thank you for teaching me about something I absolutely don't care about for the past 2 hours."

"No problem." Annabeth said, obviously misinterprating Percy's sarcasm. Now that Annabeth was done buzzing in my ear, I could enjoy the view as best as an acrophobe could. The observatory was a large platform that could fit maybe 30-40 people. The walls were lined with windows, making for a panoramic view of the city and of the river directly below us. No matter where I went, or where I was looking, the lady with the coat was always there, watching me. It seems as if she was trying to isolate me from Percy and Annabeth. Determined to piss this lady off, I walked over to Annabeth and asked her if she could explain the arch again. She smiled, and started to rant. I glanced at the lady, and she walked away in disgust. I mean, who wouldn't walk away from Annabeth's incessant rambling?

I noticed the sun starting to set, and was afraid that the train would leave without us.

"Attention all guests and visitors, the arch viewing area will be closing shortly. Please make your way to the nearest elevator to exit the viewing area. Thank you for your cooperation." said the creepy old man operating the elevators. We all started filing towards the elevators, and just as Anabeth got on, the dude in the elevator said,"This elevator is full. All guests please take the next one."

"I'll get out." Anabeth said, as she moved towards the door.

"We'll be fine Anabeth. You can wait for us at the bottom." said Percy. Reluctantly, Anabeth agreed, and went down the elevator.

"I thought she would never shut up." I told Percy once the elevator was safely out of view. "I mean, the whole time, all I heard was, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blahty Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. It was so boring!"

"I know, right? Why did she even bother telling us if she knew we wouldn't listen?" he asked.

I looked around. A family with a young boy and the creepy dog lady were stuck up here with us.

"Mommy, look! It's a Chihuahua!" the young boy said, pointing to the dog in the lady's arms. So that's what kind of dog it was.

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "Not Chihuahua, Chimera. But it's a common mistake, so don't be too embarassed."

_Chimera_. I knew what those were. Those were poor people who were experimented on by some crazy doctor. Their bodies were combined with that of an animal, into which they could partially transform. Alphonse knows of some Chimeras who are trying to obtain their orignal bodies through alchemy.

"So the dog is a Chimera?" I asked, realizing now why she was protecting it so. "I didn't think they had Chimeras here. But, I've never seen a Chimera who could transform fully into the animal their body was combined with. Who changed him into the dog?"

The lady let out a laugh. "You're not in Amestris anymore, alchemist. Apparently you've never heard of the Chimera before. But ask your demigod friend, I'm sure _he_ knows full well."

"A.J." Percy said. "The Chimera is a monster. It's made of a snake, a lion, and a goat."

"Hence Chimera" I said, realizing the name, and having the fear sink in.

The Chihuahua lept from the lady's arms, and started to morph. Percy was right. It was part goat, lion, and snake. I created a blade out of my arm, and stood ready to fight.

The family who shared the deck was long gone, down some sort of escape stairs.

"Oh, this is just too precious." the lady squeeled. "The alchemist is trying to help the cursed demigod. Hmm, let's see. Two against one, doesn't seem fair, don't you think?" Then the lady started to change as well. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Now, you must face ECHIDNA!"

"Wait, wait, wait." Percy said. "Isn't an echidna an anteater?"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN ECHIDNA. I AM NOT AN ECHIDNA, I AM _THE_ ECHIDNA!"She hollered.

"I don't understand the difference."I said to Percy.

The Chimera lunged right at me. I held my arm up, hoping to land a blow. The Chimera flew right through me, literally. I staggered backwards, unable to comprehend what happened.

"Mortals and monsters aren't ment to make contact." The Echidna chuckled. "While the monster can't land a blow on you, you can't land a blow on it." I whipped around. Percy's ass was being served to him on a Celestial Bronze platter.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Percy shouted at me. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE!"

"I'm afraid he has no choice." Echidna said. "Mortals are not in our equation."

"DAMN YOUR EQUATION!" I shouted, and transmuted a stake up from the ground. It pierced the Echidna up through the groin and came out her head. I gasped when she didn't even bleed. She laughed hystarically.

"You're going to have to do more than that to kill-" she never got to finish. Another stake went right through her heart. She exploded into dust. I sighed and turned to check on Percy. Not much better.

I glanced out the window. The river below caught my eye. I looked over at Percy. There was only one way we were getting out of this.

"Percy!" I shouted. "Get the Chimera away from the windows."

"I'm trying here! Any longer and he's gonna eat me alive!" I transmuted a wall, temporarily blocking the Chimera from Percy.

"That, my friend is why you jump into the river before that happens. You are son of poseidon, right?" I asked.

Percy looked at me like I was crazy. I could see his gears turning at the suggestion, but also the pure shock on his face, as if he was saying, "Foo, I 'aint jumpin from no arch"

"Dude," I said, the Chimera presently breaking down the wall, "you gotta trust your parentage. I've seen what you can do. If everyone believes you're the son of poseidon , then you _are _the son of poseidon.

The Chimera was free, and lunging straight at us. I transmuted a hole in the ground. The Chimera fell through, shouting greek curses at me. I just flipped him off. There was a creak, and the floor lurched. I deconstructed the glass, and Percy was falling down towards the river.

_Poor guy. _I thought. _Hope he makes it._ The entire observation deck pitched, and I scrambled to find somewhere to grab on to. I grabbed a steel beam. My good hand made contact with the steel. I could tell what it was made out of, how much of it was there, etc. A silver lining to the whole losing my arm thing. I figured, if I transmuted right, I could make a ladder that would take me close to the ground. How close, I didn't know. The deck pitched again. I climbed up onto the slanted deck, and clapped my hands.

For some reason, the emergency crews didn't notice a teen climbing down a ladder that connected to the Gateway Arch, or even wondered how such a thing was possible. Rushing through the throng of people, I eventually made it to the river. There I saw a completely freaked out Percy on the shore, muttering about how he was still alive. I helped him up, and noticed him putting something shiny in his pocket. I didn't ask. Annabeth and Grover were searching the crowd for us, and screamed when they saw us alive. Without exchanging any words, we re-boarded the train and headed west.

* * *

WELL, HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL PROBABLY BE COMING SHORTLY!


	5. What are we Doing in Denver?

ONCE AGAIN, WE APPEAR WITH YET ANOTHER CHAPTER! WE HOPE YOU LIKE IT! Disclaimer: I still don't own fullmetal alchemist or percy jackson.

* * *

After that whole Gateway Arch debacle, we were all shaken up pretty good. I was loving it, because this was the first real fun I'd had in years. I can understand why Percy hated it so much, because who would enjoy plummeting from the top of gateway arch (even if you knew you were going to live)? The first thing I said to Percy when we got back on the train was, "So what was it like? How was the fall? Were you able to breathe under water? What happened?"

"Woah, woah. Slow down. I thought that the fall was exhilarating, though it was also really scary. Yes, I suprisingly could breathe underwater, and I met some wierd lady who said that my dad was proud of me, and to leave for Santa Monica. Oh! She also said something about not trusting the gifts." He told us.

"What gifts were she talking about?" I asked.

"Well, she could mean the flying sandals that luke gave me."He replied.

"No. I trust Luke. There's no way he could have given us faulty shoes." Annabeth said sternly.

"I'm not implying anything, but right now, we shouldn't trust anybody besides ourselves. That's just how the world works." I told her.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT US!"Annabeth screamed.

"I'm not insulting you personally, I'm just giving you a word of warning."I said. "And again, just calm down. Once we get the bolt, you can go back to your darling Luke."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ANYTHING? YOU'RE JUST A MORTAL! HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW IF WE CAN TRUST YOU?" She shot back, her hand reaching towards her knife.

"ANNABETH, WOULD YOU STOP TRYING TO KILL HIM?"Grover screamed."THE LAST THING WE NEED HERE IS FIGHTING AMONGST OURSELVES. IF WE CONTINUE TO FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER, WE'L NEVER FINISH OUR QUEST!"

"You're right Grover. I'm Sorry. But I'm going to teach this mortal a lesson someday, mark my words."She said.

"Anabeth, I'd really like to see you try, but first, stop calling me "this mortal", or "that mortal" or just flat out "mortal". I have a name, you know." I spat.

"Whatever. The train stopped, so I guess we're in Santa Monica. Now that we're here, we can focus on finding Hades." she said.

"We have reached our final destination in Denver. Please disembark here, and remember not to forget your personal belongings. Thank you for choosing..." said a voice on the loudspeaker.

" Are we seriously in Denver? The tickets said nonstop service to San Francisco. Not Exactly Santa Monica, but it's closer than Denver! Dude, there is no way we'll get to Santa Monica now." Percy told me.

"I know. We'll have to think of something else. But while we're waiting for a briliant plan, can we at least get something to eat?" I asked.

"Let's contact camp first."Annabeth said. "I need to tell Chiron, or Luke, or somebody about Percy's water spirit chat."

"Wait, I tought you said we can't use phones?" Percy asked.

"We don't need a phone to contact camp." Grover said. "Now, if we could only find a hydrant or something..." I stared at him utterly confused. What could a fire hydrant have to do with contacting camp. Unless he needed it for other reasons...

Luckily, or maybe unfortunatly, the train dropped us off in an empty part of town. We took to the alleyways to avoid being seen by any locals. Though we did come across a bunch of fire hydrants, Annabeth settled for an abandoned car wash.

"Ok," I said. "I know you guys do things a bit differently, but what's with the old abandoned car wash?"

Annabeth walked over to one of the self-serve nozzles, inserted a few coins, and lifted the nozzle from its resting place. "We're going to IM" she explained.

"Instant message?" Percy asked skeptically.

"No. Iris-Message." Grover stated. "The goddes of messages. Even though she carries messages for the gods, if she's not too busy, she'll do it for us."

"Ready?" Annabeth asked, and handed Grover the nozzle. He pulled the trigger, and a misty spray came out. Annabeth took a drachma out of her pocket and threw it into the mist. "Oh Goddess, accept our offering." The coin shimmered and disappeared. "Camp Half-Blood." Suddenly, the mist rippled, and a boy appeared infront of us. "Luke?" Annabeth said surprised.

"Percy! Grover! Annabeth! You're alive!" The boy shouted. _So this guy must be Luke._ I thought.

"Yeah. We may be alive, but thriving we are not." Annabeth replied.

Luke turned towards me. "And who is this?"

"Luke, this is-"

"I'm A.J. Monroe." I said, cutting Annabeth off.

Luke smiled. "Luke, son of Hermes."

"A pleasure." I reached my hand out to shake his, but my hand went right through the apparition. Luke laughed at my gesture.

"I take it you're not a demigod then?" How could he guess with just one gesture?

"No. I'm a State Alchemist." I replied.

"Alchemist huh? Never heard of 'em."

"Look, we don't have much time." Percy interrupted. "More formal introductions can be held when we return."

"Agreed." Luke replied. "How's the quest?"

"Not good." Percy continued to rattle off every unfortunate accident that had befallen us. I even saw Luke wince at a couple of them.

"The situation at camp isn't much better. The cabins are taking sides on the whole Zeus v.s. Posideon standoff. It's all Chiron and Mr. D can do to stop a full-scale war from breaking out." Luke told us. An alarm beeped, signaling that we only had a minute left of water. "Listen," Luke continued, "I have a hunch that Hades stole Zeus' Master Bolt. He was there the last time the gods held a meeting, I was chaperoning a field trip." Annabeth nodded in agreement. "I noticed his Helm of Darkness sitting at his seat. You'd have to be invisible to sneak into the throne room and steal Zeus' Master Bolt, and the Helm could do just that for Hades. You guys should start looking for him. Good luck!" and with that, Luke disappeared.

* * *

We went to the nearest diner to rustle up some grub, as the saying goes. The diner was somewhat empty, with only a few tables filled up. As we took our seat, a waitress strolled over. She raised an eybrow. "Well?"

"Well...we want something to eat." Percy said.

"You guys have anything to pay for it?" Percy's face fell. Annabeth looked like she would pass out, and I was afraid Grover would start bleating. I figured I could always transmute some gold, though it would turn back to whatever it was in a few hours. It may be enough time for us to get out of here-.

I heard a rumble off in the distance. Suddenly, the largest guy I've ever seen (and trust me, Major Armstrong is pretty huge) riding the largest bike I've ever seen pulled up at the diner. Everyone stared at him as he walked through the diner and sat down at our table.

The waitress cleared her throat. "How are you going to pay for your meal?"

"The meal's on me." The burly guy said. The waitress scurried away frightened. I mean, who wouldn't be. This guy was the epitome of tough.

"So," he spoke, "you're the cute little demigods on the quest to save the world." I didn't like him using the word cute, especially when refering to me.

"And you are?" Percy asked, with an edge of an attitued on his voice.

The biker man lowered his glasses. He had two balls of fire for eyes. "Take a guess."

"Percy, careful." Annabeth whispered. "That's-"

"Ares. God of War." Percy finished. A goddess of wisdom, a god of the sea, a goddess of messages, and now a god of war. These guys had way too many gods.

"Yes. Before we get started, the big question on everyone's mind is, why the hell are you traveling with a mortal?" Ares made a gesture towards me. I puffed up, prepared for a comeback, but Percy waved his hand.

"He's more than just a mortal, he's an Alchemist." Percy said, sticking up for me.

"Yes, we gathered that."

"He can see the monsters, and fight them using his alchemy, and the monsters can't even touch him. I'd say he's quite the ally."

"And the question on my mind. Why don't you get the hell home. Alchemists don't belong here."

"I can't very well go home." I said. "I need a philosopher's stone, and don't fancy making one out of the souls of this country. I'm waiting for Pride."

"Him?" Ares asked. "The homunculus? Saw him down in Texas attempting to open some circle he'd drawn on the floor. Can't be too sure he's there still." My eyes widened. So Pride was here. "Anyways, I'm done consorting with you mortal. I came to ask a favor of Percy Jackson."

"What do you want?" Percy asked.

"I left something of mine somwhere." Ares said. "I need you to retrieve it."

"What something where?"

"My shield. I, uhm, left it at the amusement park. I was, uhm, meeting someone, and had to leave in a hurry. I forgot my shield."

"Why don't you get it yourself?"

Ares fumed. "Cause I don't want to." He leaned closer. "Look. You get me my shield, and I'll give you what you need. Food, a ride," he raised his eybrows, "and information about your mother."

Percy leaned back, reeling from this information. He looked Ares square in the eye.

"DEAL!" Percy shouted. "Where is this amusement park?"

* * *

WELL, HOW WAS IT? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET US KNOW! THANK YOU!


	6. The Water Park Debocle

WE HAVE RETURNED WITH A BRAND NEW CHPTER! WE HOPE YOU ENJOY! Disclaimer: Sadly, I still do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Percy Jackson and the Olympians. And now, our Feature Presentation.

* * *

"Where did Ares say his shield was again?" I asked.

"He said it was in some old abandoned amusement park." Percy replied.

"How specific" I said sarcastically.

In about ten minutes, we came across this old, cobwebby, run-down amusement park.

"Waterland" I read the sign for Percy and Annabeth.

"Well, I think we're here, because this place is the epitome of old and abandoned." Annabeth said.

"You can say that again." Grover replied.

"Smell any monsters Grover?" Percy asked.

Grover looked around. "No."

"Yeah, like you didn't smell any monsters at the Arch either." I replied.

Grover shot me a look.

"So how do we get in." Annabeth asked, noticing the barbed wire at the top of the fence.

"Leave that to me." I said. I approached the fence, clapped my hands together, and created a gate.

"Fancy." Percy noticed, and opened the gate for us.

The water park looked like it hadn't been run in decades. The signs were faded, the water long gone, and I counted at least three places on one ride where it wouldn't support a butterfly. As erie as the water park was, we didn't come across any monsters. There was one thing open, however.

"The gift shop?" Grover asked.

"Sure, why not?" Annabeth asked, and walked inside the open doors. There were shelves lined with postcards, snowglobes, pencils, and clothes. Annabeth walked up to a rack of clothes and picked out a t-shirt. "Not really my design, but.."

"What do you like?" I asked, a plan forming in my mind.

"Building things, designing things, doing math-"

"No, what would you like to have on a t-shirt?"

Annabeth thought. "How about a kitty. I always wanted to have one."

"Ok." I said a little akwardly, seeing a side of Annabeth probably nobody has seen. I took the shirt from her hands, and used alchemy to change it. I handed it back. "Here. Try this on for size." Annabeth walked over to the changing room, grabbing a pair of shorts she liked along the way.

"My turn." Percy said. Soon, we all walked out of the store with fresh clothes sporting some pretty funky designs. My shirt had a picture of my pocketwatch (which was securely in my pants pocket) and said: 'I'm a state alchemist and I know it'.

"So which ride should we check?" Percy asked.

"Think." Annabeth said. "If you were coming here with your girlfriend, where would you go?"

"Ares was _here_, with his _girlfriend_?" I asked.

"DUH!" Annabeth shouted. "Ares is going out with Aphrodite, the goddess of love."

"But why so secretive?"

"Aphrodite is already married. To Hephaestus."

"Let me guess. Another god, right?"

"Right. Hephaestus is always trying to catch them, so they hide wherever they can."

I tried to think. Where would I go with my metaphorical girlfriend in a water park?

"How about the tunnel of love?" Grover asked.

"Bingo!" Annabeth shouted. "I saw it on a map in the gift shop."

The thing was, it wasn't 'the tunnel of love', it was 'the thrill ride of love'.

"There it is." Annabeth said, pointing to one of the boats. "The shield of Ares."

"Whatever. It's just some god's shield. I bet he has lots of them, being the god of war and all." I replied.

"I didn't say _a _shield of Ares, I said _the _shield of Ares. This is the one he used in the war against the titans." Annabeth explained.

"You know, she's going to kill me in my sleep one day, I just know it." I whispered to Percy.

"I know. She's like that to everybody except Luke and Chiron." He whispered back.

"Is that a scarf in the boat next to the shield?" I asked Percy.

"Looks like it. But Ares wearing a scarf? I just can't seem to picture that." He replied.

"That's Aphrodite's." Annabeth explained.

Silence.

"So." Percy asked. "Who's gonna get it?"

Grover immediatly became interested in a crack in the sidewalk.

"Fine." Percy shouted. "Annabeth and I will go get it."

"Me?" Annbeth said, a little shocked.

"Yes you."

"Me? Go with you? To the 'thrill ride of love'?"

Percy gave her a look, and she caved.

I chuckled as I heard them muttering about just grabbing the shield and getting out of there.

Percy walked up to the shield, and grabbed it.

"No Percy!" Annabeth shouted, too late. "It's a trap!" Suddenly, the cupid statues awoke. The fired their little bows, fibers making a sort of check pattern above the boat. Little fibers started to grow, connecting the larger ones. A net.

"Climb!" Percy shouted, but it was harder to get out than in. I tried to transmute a rope from the net, but the net didn't respond to my alchemy. The cupids' heads popped open, revealing little video cameras. Then this automated voice said, "Broadcasting live to Olympus in T-minus 60 seconds, and counting."

There was no way out. I saw Annabeth and Percy arguing about something. Percy looked at me, then pulled Annabeth down into the boat. The lap bar lowered. What were they doing? The ride was shut down; besides, there wasn't any water.

My hand touched the ground. I tried to feel for water to transmute, but there was nothing. My hand started to shake. I pulled my hand back, then realized that it wasn't my hand, but the ground. A large wave of water shot out from the pipes, carrying Percy and Annabeth's boat through the tunnel.

"Broadcasting in 3...2...1...Rolling!" Shouted the automated voice.

Grover and I ran towards the exit. The sight there was not pretty. There was a gate blocking the exit, with a pile up of old boats at its feet. Percy's boat came careening towards the gate, faster and faster. I figured that I could deconstruct the gate but then what? I would get crushed by the pile up.

"Jump guys!" Grover was shouting. That was their only hope: jumping the fence. It was possible. They were going the proper speed. If they jumped just before impact, they could clear the fence easily. Percy was standing up, ready to jump, but Annabeth was holding him back.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked to myself. It was too late now, she had waited too long.

Suddenly, they sprang up, clearing the fence by a mile. They also cleared the pool of water at the exit. Thinking quickly, I transmuted a hand to catch them. I lowered them to the ground. The two were breathing heavily, not believing that they had made it. I looked back at the ride. Their boat had been smashed in the pile up. If they hadn't reacted, so would they.

Percy stood up and took a bow. "Show's over." He yelled. "Thank you! Good night."

* * *

WELL, HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? WAS IT GOOD, BAD, TERRIBLE, OR JUST HANDS DOWN AWESOME? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET US KNOW!


	7. Ares Really Pisses Me Off

HELLO! I APOLOGIZE FOR GOING AWOL ON YOU FOR A FEW WEEKS. BUT NOW, HERE I AM WITH A SHINING NEW CHAPTER! I HOPE YOU ENJOY! Disclaimer: I still don't own fullmetal alchemist or percy jackson. AND NOW, OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!

* * *

We were all pissed off to say the least. Percy and I wanted to murder Ares, Grover wanted to eat a soda can (typical of a satyr), and Annabeth, well Annabeth kept to herself. When we finally returned to the diner, Ares was on his Harley and looked about twice as menacing as he did before.

"Well! I can't believe that you runts came through." he said.

"We managed." Percy replied.

"I'll be taking my shield now, Jackson." said Ares, reaching for his shield.

"Not so fast Ares. Where's our transportation that you promised?" Percy said.

"Over there." Ares replied, gesturing at a beaten up old truck that said, "Humane Animal Transport" on its side.

"THAT piece of crap is our ride? Are you serious?" Annabeth complained.

"It'll take you all the way to Vegas." Ares told her. "Now give me my shield before I lose my patience."

"One last thing Ares," said Percy, "you promised information about my mother. Where is she?"

"You saw her evaporate into golden light, right?" Ares said, sounding somewhat aggrivated.

"Yeah." Percy replied.

"Well that means that she's not dead. It means that old corpse breath is going to keep her and use her as a bargining tool." Ares spat. "And now I'll be taking my shield."

"Bargaining tool?." Percy asked.

"Yeah, like a hostage."

"Why would Hades want my mom hostage?"

"Well, you'll have a long time to think about that on your trip to Vegas." Ares almost ripped Percy's arm off taking his shield. "This isn't the last time Jackson!" he shouted as he drove off.

"Geez, talk about uptight." I said.

"We can worry about the rudeness of Ares later. We need to get on that truck." Annabeth said. _Always the one to prioritize._ I thought. We all got on the truck, and not a moment too soon. The owners of the truck came out of the diner yammering to eachother about how bad their lives were, and then they came around to the back, which just so happened to be where we were. But luckily for us, they were just closing the doors so they could leave.

"YUCK! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!" Annabeth screeched somewhat indignantly.

"It smells like something died in here." I said.

"You can say that again." Percy replied. "Yo, A.J.! Can you do that clap thingy and make a some light?"

"I can open a hole in the wall so the daylight can come in." I offered.

"That'll work. Anything to get us out of this awful darkness." said Grover. So I clapped and made a hole in the wall. Immediately, we could see the source of the bad smell. There were three animals in there with us. A lion, a zebra, and some sort of antelope with a party baloon on it's left horn. Their cages were too small, there was no water, there was no food, and there was no waste disposal. I think you know what that means. There was animal poop everywhere.

"HUMANE ANIMAL TRANSPORT? MORE LIKE ANIMAL TORTURE TRANSPORT! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW CAN THIS EVEN BE LEGAL? I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY!" Grover screamed.

"Woah big man. Calm down. We don't want the drivers to hear us!" I whispered.

"You're right. But I'm appalled by these horrible conditions!" He said in a more level voice. All of a sudden, there were these weird goat noises.

"Grover, is that you? And if it is you, what in the heck are you doing?" I asked him.

"Yes it's me, and I'm trying to talk to the animals." He replied.

"You can do that? I know that you're half goat, but I didn't know that you could talk to animals." I said.

We sat in the silence for hours, before Grover dropped off, followed closely by Annabeth, then Percy. I had time finally to reflect. I was stuck on a strange world with strange creatures and gods. Oh yeah, Pride too. My plan to get back seemed possible now. The only variable was Pride. Where would he be hiding in this country? It seems so big after our journey so far, and Annabeth says that we're only about halfway across it. The rattling and bouncing of the truck almost made me nod off, but I had to be diligent. I made up I mind then. Either I would go to Pride, or he would come to me. There would have to be a trap, with me as bait. Now I would just have to wait until the right time, when I know he will come after me.

I must have nodded off, because when I looked out the hole, I saw a large city. I quickly roused the others.

"Uh, guys? I think we're there." I said.

"Good! That means that we can free the animals!" Grover exclaimed.

"Woah there. I know that these animals deserve to be free, but free in a big city? How will they eat? How will they find water?" Percy asked him.

"Leave that to me." Grover replied. He started speaking to the animals again, and they started making animal noises. "Hey, Percy? Can you cut the locks on these cages so that when the doors open, we can free the animals?" Grover asked.

"Are you sure that the lion won't eat us?" I asked.

"Positive." Grover replied. Percy drew his sword an made short work of the locks. They fell to the floor with a clang. Then the Zebra seemed to bow to Percy, and the doors opened.

"What the..." The guys driving the truck exclaimed. But it was too late. The lion pounced and the guys ran away. Then Grover said something that none of us understood, and the animals ran off. We all got off of the truck, and we went into the nearest building.

"A.J., I can't read the sign." Annabeth said. "What does it say?"

"The Lotus Hotel and Casino." I replied. "Sounds dangerous."

* * *

WELL, HOW WAS IT? FUNNY, LONG, BORING, PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW! EXPECT ANOTHER CHAPTER SOON!


	8. The lotus hotel and casino

BEHOLD, I PRESENT TO YOU, A SHINING NEW CHAPTER! I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT, I WON'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE FOR A WHILE BECAUSE OF SCHOOL, SO PLEASE REVIEW AND ENJOY! Disclaimer: I still don't own fullmetal alchemist, Percy Jackson, PAC-MAN, or TRON

* * *

There were some casinos in Central, and I only know what I've heard from fellow soldiers. Nothing they could have told me would prepare me for this. The building seemed endless, stretching for milennia in all directions. Games and slot machines lined the walls, with signs that pointed every which way, pointing to various pools, spas, and shooting ranges. We stood in awe as groups of people pushed past us to unknown destinations, their light slowly fading out of existence.

I nudged Percy as a bellhop approached us.

"Welcome to the lotus hotel and casino!" He said.

"What?" We all asked in unison.

"I said,welcome to the lotus hotel and casino! Here your room keys, the elevator is on the left." the guy replied, starting to walk away.

"Hey, wait! We didn't order a room!" Grover shouted, but the man just kept on walking.

"They must have mistaken us for some rich person's kids." said Annabeth.

"Well, we might as well make some good use of it. Lets check out the room, get freshened up, eat, then leave." I said.

"That's a pretty good idea. We just have to remember, freshen up, eat, leave." Percy said. When we got to the room, it was more than amazing. There were four king size beds, a fully stocked mini-bar, two full bathrooms, and a whole closet full of clean clothes. There were also four pieces of rectangular plastic lying on the table. They said, 'lotus credit card'.

"Why would we want our very own credit cards?" Annabeth asked.

"What's a credit card?" I asked. Annabeth face-palmed.

"This room is amazing!" Percy shouted.

"Hey Annabeth," Grover shouted from the balcony, "I think you'll dig this view." I followed her to the balcony. I thought I could see far from the arch, but this was incredible. Buildings lit up as far as the eye could see.

_It's so beautiful. _I thought. _We don't have stuff like this back home. _I was completely hypnotized by the view. I almost didn't want to go home.

"Let's go get something to eat." Percy suggested. "God only knows how long it's been since we last ate."

The restaurants were on the ground floor in the back of the casino. We searched through what seemed to be endless gambhalls and arcade halls. When we finally came upon a resturaunt, we were almost too worn out to eat.

"I have never been so hungry in my life." Grover bleated.

"You can say that again." Percy groaned.

-_20 minutes_ later...- "uggggggg... I can't eat another bite!" I moaned. A chorus of, same here, and, me too, ensued. As we were walking back to check out, Grover screamed, "Oh my gods! I can't believe they have that game!" and ran off.

"Woah! Is that a virtual design video game?" Annabeth shouted, and then ran off in the opposite direction of Grover.

"Oh wow! Is that the original PAC-MAN?" Percy exclaimed and left me the only one with a sane mind. I had no idea what these games were, so naturally, I had no interest in them.

"That's cool, you guys go play." I shouted. "I'm gonna-" I stopped. Something had moved behind one of the video games. I walked over to it. It read 'TRON'. "Never heard of it." I mumbled, and looked behind the game. The shadow flickered again, like an eye winking. A manager passed by. "Excuse me, sir." he stopped. "There isn't a room behind that game is there?"

The manager laughed. "If I had a nickel for every kid who asked me that. As far as I know, there is no secret room behind any of our games." He walked off, laughing and shaking his head. I decided to tap into the Pulse to see if he was wrong. He was. There was a little room behind that video game, and two people were in it. Glancing back, I used alchemy to move the game aside. I took a deep breath, and walked inside.

There was a small hallway before the room. I decided to hide here. I peeked into the room. All the light in the room was being made by a small candle, that cast long shadows against the wall. Sitting at a table were the two people I saw with the Pulse. One was the manager who greeted us, and the other was shrouded in shadows. I strained to listen to their conversation.

"I trapped them here, just like you wished." The manager whispered.

"Good." The other one said. "You can keep the children, but I get the Alchemist." I gasped. We were trapped. Lured here, but why? And who was this creature that wanted me?

"I can't guarantee that. My men are meant to desteoy demigods, but with the alchemist hanging out with them, I think their scent-"

"Don't givcome your precious little excuses. If you can't do a simple task, you are no longer needed."

"No wait-" The manager was attacked by the eyes and faces hiding in the shadows.

"Pride!" I gasped, and lost my balance.

Pride turned around. "Looks like we have a guest." The eyes turned towards me. I raced out of the tunnel with Pride's laughter echoing in my ears.

I didn't even bother to close the game behind me. I rushed past guests and staff alike, trying to find my friends. It didn't take long. A hand on my shoulder spun me around. I screamed, but realized it was Percy.

"We need to get out of here." Percy said.

"Yes! Pride is here, he wants me to get him back to Amestris." I explained

"It's worse than that. There are people here from the 50's!"

"How long ago is that?"

"A long while. Have you seen Grover or Annabeth?"

"No." We took off running.

Annabeth was still playing the virtual design game, completely engrossed in her work.

"Come on Annabeth!" Percy shouted at her and tried to drag her away.

"No, just a few more minutes, I'm almost done." I transmuted a rope that Percy used to tie her hands. "What are you doing, stupid alchemist?!"

"Is there a problem over here?" a manager asked, eyeing Annabeth.

I grabbed two glaces of water from a passing waitress. "No, there's not." I splashed the manager with the glass of water.

"What the-?" I handed the other to Percy, who splashed Annabeth with it. I transmuted a cage to trap the manager, and the three of us ran away.

"What's going on?" Annabeth asked.

"We need to find Grover and get out of here." Percy said.

"There!" I shouted, pointing to a shooting game.

"Die, human! Die, nasty, polluting, human!" Grover was shouting at the game. Percy approached him

"Hey Grover, we need to get out of here." Percy said, slapping the gun out of his hand.

"What did you do that for?" Grover shouted at Percy. "I was on a high score!" Some of the staff was closing in.

"Hurry up!" I shouted, as on of the bellhops pulled a gun. "Get out of the way!" I shouted to some on lookers as I transmuted a wall between us and the gunman.

"Grover, listen to me, I'm your friend, Percy, remember?"

The bullets hit the wall and made it shake. Grover kept on playing. Annabeth, fed up with waiting, walked over and slammed Grover's head on the machine.

"What was that- what are we doing here?" Grover said as he rubbed his head.

"No time, let's roll." Annabeth said, and grabbed Grover's hand. The wall started to crumble.

We dodged staff left and right. I transmutted a sword out of my arm and slashed at any staff members who dared get to close. Finally, the exit was in sight. Only a bellhop stood in our way

"Hey, kids! You know, we just opened up a new game floor for platinum members only! And you know what? I mave four platinum cards for giveaway, right now! What do you say?"

"Sorry, but we really must be going." Annabeth told him. We bolted out the door, turned down some busy streets, and lost our attackers. Vegas was still lit up. Inside the hotel, it felt like a few hours, but outside, days.

We walked past another casino. An electronic sign advertised the date. It said that today was June 20th.

"What? How can it be the 20th it's the 16th!" Percy shouted.

"No, it's the 20th. That was the lair of the lotus eaters. They've been trapping people there for Millenia." Annabeth said matter-of-factly.

"So now how are we going to get to the Underworld?" Grover whined. We looked around. There was a small taxi stand between two casinos. Annabeth went over to the nearest taxi driver and asked him to take us to Los Angelos. The guy said that we'd need to pay up front for a ride like that, and Annabeth gave the guy her lotus credit card. She gestured for us to get I the taxi, so we all crammed in there like a clown car. The taxi dude swiped her card, and the guy's meter spun and whirred and then the sign for infinity came up.

"We're on our way, uh, your highness." he said, and drove into the dawn.

* * *

WELL, HOW WAS IT? GOOD, BAD, OR BORING? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW!


	9. Being tall is overrated

WELCOME BACK TO MY ACTION-PACKED CROSSOVER! I AM ONCE AGAIN BACK IN SCHOOL, SO I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO UPDATE FOR A WHILE. Disclaimer: I still don't (and probably won't ever) own fullmetal alchemist or percy jackson. NOW, BACK TO THE STORY!

* * *

I hate driving long-distance. I know I wasn't the one driving, but sitting in a taxi cramped past maximum occupancy sucks. As earlier stated the taxi felt like a clown car. In a futile attempt to lighten the mood, I transmuted little statues of monsters out of the car door for us to destroy. Hey, anything to pass the time.

Annabeth obviously wasn't enjoying it, so she told the taxi driver that if he got us there in 4 hours, he could keep the credit card. I really hated the fact that she said that, because the taxi didn't go any slower than 95 all the way across the desert. When we finally got to L.A., the cabbie dropped us off at a beach. Annabeth handed the taxi driver her credit card, and Percy fished into his pockets for a tip (why the cabbie needed a tip, I don't know, but...). The cabbie drove away before Percy could hand him anything; however, Percy still pulled something out of his pocket. They were the shiny things I saw him put in his pocket at the arch.

"What are those?" I asked. "I've never seen anything like them."

"You've never seen a pearl before?" Annabeth said skeptically, realizing what these shiny objects were.

"No, never." I replied.

"They come from - never mind." Percy said. "At St. Louis, after I fell into the river, you know, i told you. Anyways, the nymph lady gave me these, saying that they will help us on our quest."

"Are we supposed to sell them?" Grover asked.

"Are pearls a form of currency in your country?" I asked, still trying to figure them out.

"No, but they are worth a lot."

"Well we don't have time to worry about it now. We're running out of time to find the underworld and get the bolt." I said.

"A.J.'s right. We should start looking." Percy replied.

Los Angeles was huge. That was my first thought. Percy kept on saying that this was nothing like New York. He said that if you knew how to get around in New York, you would be fine. But even if you knew your way around L.A., it would chew you up and spit you out just to prove how tough it was. We ran into all sorts of people. We ran into homeless people, gang members, and lots of other creepy people.

All of a sudden, I heard somebody say, "Hey, you." and oddly enough, Percy stopped. Before we could do anything else, we were surrounded. There were 6 kids in fancy suits carrying switchbaldes and an evil demeanor to boot. Percy pulled out his sword and I transmuted my arm-sword. 5 kids backed off, the look on their face revealing their disbelief at my awesome alchemical skills and my automail arm; however, three guys kept coming at us. I clapped and the other two were punched by huge fists, and Percy swung his sword at the guy advancing on him. He screamed and looked down at his torso. I face-palmed, because Percy's sword went right through the kid. The kid was like, "What the heck?!" We didn't stick around to see what they did next. We ran down countless alleys, with the gang yelling behind us.

"In there!" Annabeth shouted. There was a run down old shop called: Crusty's Water Bed Palace. We all darted in before the kids could notice us. "I think _pant_ we _pant_ lost them." Annabeth said.

"Lost who?" some random voice asked. All of a sudden this huge guy about 8 feet tall walked out of some dark corner. "I'm Crusty." I was thinking the exact same thing. He had a tattered beard with dried up food in it, and a shirt that was only buttoned up halfway, exposing this guy's disgusting chest hair.

"We're sorry to bother you. We were just browsing." Percy said quickly.

"You mean running away from those no good gang kids. They're always causing trouble. But thanks to them, I get alot more people in here. Say, do you kids want to try out a water bed?" he asked. We were all about to say _no thanks,_ but he put a massive hand on Percy's shoulder and steered him over into his showroom. "Now this bed is my best seller." he pointed at a bed covered with black satin sheets, with built in lava-lamps on the headboard. The matress vibrated, so it lookes like a big puddle of oil. "It's million hand massage."

"Million hand masage!" Grover shouted. "Oh you guys, this is awesome!"

"Almost darnit." Said Crusty

"Almost what?" I asked. He didn't reply. Instead, he lead Annabeth over to a bed with some lions, gorillas, and all sorts of other exotic mammals. He offered her to try it out. When she refused, Crusty shoved her, and was rewarded with a cry from Annabeth. _"Ergo!" _yelled Crusty. Suddenly, ropes appeared from the sides of the bed and tied Annabeth down. The same happened to Grover. "Th-this is n-n-not c-cool!" Grover shouted. I was clapped my hands and was about to transmute a spear, when Crusty grabbed me and Percy by our shirts. "I'll find a bed for you two in just a minute. Boy, my customers are so inconsiderate. They're never exactly 6 feet tall. I make all my beds six feet long. Oh well, that's easily fixed." he told us.

"How is it so easily fixed?" Percy inquired.

"Stretching job. 3 to 4 inches. They might actually live. _Ergo!_" Crusty shouted. Suddenly, ropes appeared at the top and bottom of both beds and wrapped around Grover and Annabeht's shoulders and ankles. Slowly but surely, the ropes began to tighten.

"You're name isn't crusty, is it?" Percy asked.

"Actually, no it isn't. My legal name is Procrustes." he said.

"The stretcher, right? You tricked Theseus on his way back to Athens." Percy said, matter-of-factly.

"Percy, what are you doing?!" Annabeth screamed.

"Don't mind her, she's impossible." Percy said to Crusty.

"You can say that again, bro." I added. "But I'm curious. What do you do if people are too big?"

"Finally, an intelligent customer! Well," said Crusty reaching over to his sales desk, from which he pulled out a huge celestial bronze axe, "I center them just right, and chop off whatever hangs over the edge."

"That's...smart." I replied. "I can't believe the workmanship of these beds! It's amazing!"

"Nobody ever notices the workmanship. I mean, how many beds do you see with lava lamps on the headrest? None!" he exclaimed. He looked directly at me. "I've heard you have a knack for volcanoes."

"That's because he-" I slapped Percy to shut him up.

Crusty laughed. "Not necessary. I know a lot about you, alchemist." I cringed. "Oh yes, one of your short buddies came in here not too long ago, and offered me a deal, and perhaps, you as well."

"I don't care what you or Pride have to offer!" I shouted.

"Maybe you will, after you see this..." He walked over to the bed with the lava lamp, and broke the lava lamp off. "Observe." He broke the lava lamp over the headrest, glass shattered everywhere. The red "lava" oozed out and, instead splashing on the floor, arranged itself into a neat ball.

I gasped.

"What the-" Percy said.

"It can't be." I whispered.

"Oh yes, alchemist. Pride left you a little gift."

"The Philosopher's Stone!"

Crusty smiled. "Yes. With this, you can not only return home, but retake your arm."

"What's the catch?"

"You're friends remain here with me. And you need to bring Pride back as well."

"Forget it!" I shouted. "I'm not doing anything for that bastard!"

"He'd said you'd say that. _Ergo." _Ropes shot out from the bed and grabbed me, pulling me against the wall, like the little black hands from the doorway. "He also said if you resisted, to kill you _and_ your friends."

"Well." Percy said. "That complicates things."

"I agree." Crusty said. "I just hate it when things don't go my way."

"Speaking of, you were talking about beds..."

"Oh yes, a bed for you, let us see." Crusty walked around.

I yelled at Percy through the gag, but he shot me a look.

"Here, look at that bed. When you lie down, it doesn't generate any waves from impact."

"None? Not even for a big guy like you?" Percy asked. My eyes widened as I realized what he was planning. "You should show us."

"Gladly!" Crusty exclaimed. He sat down on the bed and patted it. "See? No waves."

"_Ergo!_" Percy shouted. Immediately, ropes tied crusty down. "Center him just right." Crusty's entire head hung off the edge of the bed.

"You drive a hard bargain! I'll give you 30% off selected floor models!" Crusty shouted.

"Shame. You don't fit on your own bed." Percy said. He raised his sword and chopped Crusty's head off. Immediately, the ropes around me disappeared. I dived for the Stone on the floor, but it vanished as well.

"You look taller." Percy jested at Annabeth.

"Yeah, well, give us a minute. We were almost stretched to death!" Grover shouted. I went over to Crusty's desk to see if he left any traces of his connection with Pride. Instead, I saw a yellow book with a red bookmark sticking out of it. Flipping to the page, I saw an advertisement that said, DOA Recording Studios, where your spirit can roam, and then an address. This was it. This was what we were looking for.

"What about the underworld?" Annabeth asked. "We should have asked him about it before you chopped off his head."

"Don't worry, guys." I replied, holding up the book. "It's just around the block."

* * *

WELL, HOW WAS IT? AWESOME, LONG, OR BORING, OR ALL THREE? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET US KNOW!

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	10. DOA Recording Studios

WE HAVE RETURNED WITH A SHINING NEW CHAPTER! I DO HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY IT! Disclaimer: I still (and probably won't ever) own fullmetal alchemist or Percy Jackson.

* * *

As we crossed the street, the gates of DOA recording studios loomed above us.

"Wow, talk about a run-down old hellhole." Percy muttered. The place was completely coved in cobwebs. There were boards across the windows, and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't sense anybody living in the near vicinity. I looked up at the fading sign, which read 'DOA RDG TUO'. I chuckled at the humor.

"A.J.," Percy said, looking at me weird, "we're about to decend to possibly our deaths, and your _laughing_?"_  
_

"Do you guys know what DOA stands for?" I asked.

"'Dozens Of Anchovies'?" Grover asked.

I couldn't help but laugh again as I shook my head. "DOA stands for 'Dead On Arrival'." Suddenly, the gates seemed a lot larger than they really were.

"If we truly need to be 'dead on arrival', then we need to come up with some CODs." Percy said, sticking with the morgue lingo.

"'Causes Of Death'." I translated for Annabeth and Grover, who were helplessly lost.

"Any ideas?" Percy continued.

"How about we say that we were assaulted by a homunculus? Like Pride?" I suggested.

"Definately not. If other monsters know who you are and where you're from, then there's a pretty big chance that they won't let you in." Annabeth told me. I gave her a questioning look, but decided not to argue with her...yet.

"That's true," Grover agreed,"but why don't we say that we all drowned in our bath tub?"

"Dude, seriously? There is no way that all four of us could drown in the same freaking bathtub." I replied.

"Another good point. Oh! How about we say that drowned in our uncle's swimming pool! There's no way that we couldn't all fit into that." Annabeth exclaimed.

"Who's our uncle then?" Percy asked.

"We'll just have to hope that he doesn't ask us who our uncle is. Or we could just say that it was our swimming pool." I replied.

"We're running out of time. Let's just go with Annabeth's idea." Grover said. So we entered DOA recording studios. There was a sign that said, "no loitering", another that said, "no littering", and yet another that said, "ABSOLUTELY _NO_ LIVING". That was definitely not a good sign.

The inside was no better. Chairs lined the walls, all occupied by ghosts. The walls went up and up forever, and, it seemed, the hallway to our right. I couldn't help but feel nervous as I followed the group. The eyes of those who once lived pierced my soul. One caught my attention, that of a mother all alone: her son not there to protect her. I looked away, reminded of my sin and the fragility of life.

"A.J., come on!" Percy called back me. I escaped from the gaze of the ghost, but I couldn't of the past.

As we approached the end of the lobbey, there was a man on a podium wearing a pretty expensive looking suit. As we got closer, he looked up at us and smiled maliciously. The breath caught in my throat, afraid of that similar grin. He leaned forward and began to ask us some questions.

"Name?" He asked us, his voice a dull monotone despite the Cheshire-Cat smile he previously flashed.

When I didn't respond, Annabeth did. "We're the Monroes." She explained.

"Cause of death?" He asked.

"We all drowned in our pool." I replied.

"Wait, your name is Chiron?" Percy asked. Almost like lightning, the man's expression darkened. "My name is not Chiron! I absolutely despise being mixed up with that guy. I'm Charon. Say it with me. _CARE-ON_." he screamed.

"So you're Charon?" Percy asked.

"Yes, you nimrod. I am Charon. So, can you pay for the trip? If you can't, then too bad for you. You have to sit in here with the other souls for a few thousand years, or until I'm feeling generous." he said, becoming more and more bored by the second.

"You have to _pay_? I asked.

"Of course. A toll is required to cross to the underworld." He made a 'duh' face.

Shocked, I turned to Percy, my left arm starting to hurt. "You never mentioned anything about a _toll_! I already paid once, so-"

"Stop bickering!" Charon butt-in. "I don't know what he's talking about, 'already paid once', but you're wasting my time. If you don't have the money, then you have to sit in those chairs until say so."

"Well that's...fair." Annabeth said.

"Who said death was fair, missy? Wait a minute. You couldn't spell my name right." he said, gesturing at Percy, "Are you dyslexic?"

"No, I'm dead." Percy replied. Charon leaned over his desk and sniffed at us.

"You're demigods, aren't you, or, well, _most_ of you. And what's more, you're _alive_." he said with distaste.

"We have payment!" Percy exclaimed. As he said this, he dug three golden coins out of his pocket, and put them on the table.

Charon's eyes lit up with avarice. "Wow. Real golden drachmas. I haven't seen these in years. You know what? I'll just take these and forget that I saw you, and if you add one more, I won't tell the pipsqueak shadow-kid your alchemist friend was here. You can leave without interference now." he said, reaching for the golden drachmas.

"Wait, you know Pride?" I asked. "How does he know where I-"

"We're not leaving until we see Hades, and you aren't getting payed until you take us to him." Percy cut me off, snatching the drachmas away. Charon let out a bone chilling hiss so loud that the spirits of the dead began to panic and claw at the elevator at the edge of the room. "Speaking of payment, I don't really think Hades pays you really well, does he?" Percy said casually.

"You're right! And I don't get the least bit of respect here either!"

"You deserve better." Percy told him, still showing his sly grin. "Respect, good pay, maybe some better work conditions." with each suggestion, Percy stacked another gold drachma on the table. Where he got them, I have no idea, but Charon eventually began to see reason.

"You know what kid? You may actually be making sense now. Just a little bit, but some sense." Charon replied.

"We could mention a pay raise to Hades while we're there." I added. Charaon sighed.

"Well, I guess I could put you on the next boat. It's just about full, anyway." he told us. Suddenly, he turned to the spirits in the room. "Listen up! If any of you change the radio channel again, it's another thousand years of waiting!" The doors of the elevator in the back of the room opened, and some spirits filed in with us. Charon got in last, pushed a button, and we descended into the abyss below...


	11. Lurking in the Shadows

AT LONG LAST, I HAVE RETURNED! AFTER MUCH LOATHED ACCOUNT ISSUES AS WELL AS SCHOOL, I AM FINALLY ABLE TO BESTOW UPON YOU A SHINING NEW CHAPTER! Disclaimer:I do not own Percy jackson or Fullmetal alchemist.

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How should I describe Hell? I'm not entirely sure, but I'll try all the same. It was extremely dark. Huge stalactites hung from the ceiling, which I could barely see. I tried tapping into the pulse, but it was disorienting. Nothing here was truly alive; it was like looking through a kaleidoscope. I shivered as we descended, sensing the presence of all those dead. I strained, but couldn't hear the sound of water. We were going to cross a river, right? I luckily didn't have any problems as we descended, but Percy looked about ready to hurl.

"Dude, if you're going to puke, please do it over the other side ." I told him.

"I'll try man. I'll try." he replied shakily. Soon we began to level out and proceeded forward. Suddenly, the elevator we were in disappeared and transformed into a boat. We had reached the River Styx. I later prayed that when I died I wouldn't have to come back. I looked over at where Charon was standing. He was no longer some creepy old guy with an expensive suit, but a creepy old skeleton with a robe and eyes that radiated death and despair.

"What're you lookin' at?" he spat. I decided that it would be better not to answer that. As we proceeded onward, I could visibly see a river, but it was by far the dirtiest river that I had ever seen. I was expecting to see human souls floating in it, but instead there were objects, racing along side the boat. If you could think of any procurable commodity in the world, it was in there.

"What is this?" I asked Annabeth.

"The river Styx. I've never seen it before, but I never imaginined that it would be so...so..." she began.

"Polluted?" Charon offered.

"Yeah. It's wired all the stuff that's in here. How does it get here?" I asked. Something glinted in my peripheral vision, and I turned in time to see what I thought was a silver pocket watch sink slowly.

"You humans throw anything you find in there. Hopes, dreams, anything you've ever aspired to have or become, one of you people will have thrown it in there." he replied. Knowing that, I paid more attention to these objects. I saw coffee cups, alarm clocks, jewelry; there were also photos, those of a young lady in her cap and gown, a wedding picture burned at one corner. I wondered, whose life was this? How did they find their way here? I honestly had no idea, but I didn't want to ask Charon any more questions.

I looked around, and I saw some pretty wired stuff. Not that a river filled with dreams wasn't weird enough. The extreme darkness to my right drew my attention.

"Erebus." Charon said, almost reading my thoughts. "The darkest place in the Underworld. No light comes from there."

I looked in another direction. I finally saw a place that looked like Hell. Souls were crying out, begging for mercy when they knew it wouldn't come. Fire everywhere, casting long shadows in all directions. As we passed, some of its inhabitantscame into view. There was a man who resembled one I had read about: Shou Tucker. He was sitting in the bottom of a pit with two depressed looking chimeras staring at him. Adjacent to the pit, I saw somebody chained to a rock with vultures eating him, bit by bit, and after a while, the man regenerated, and he convulsed as the vultures came at him again. There was also somebody pushing a rock up a hill. I don't know why he was doing this, but he obviously didn't look happy about doing it.

Tired of being somewhat sadistic, I looked the other way and saw an area with people partying and eating barbeque and having a great time. Pleasant smells and sounds of laughter found their way to me through all this caos. I didn't understand. Why were all these people sentenced to such torture and damnation while a few were partying? Unless the partying people were in heaven and the damned were in Hell.

Suddenly, we heard a deep throated growl, and Charon made a surprise announcement.

"Oh look, Cerberus is hungry. Lucky you. He loves eating the living. It has been so long since he tasted human flesh." Charon said maliciously.

I had no idea what Cerberus was, but I soon found out, much to my disappointment. The boat stopped and we all got off. Gravel crunched beneath our feet, at least, I hoped it was gravel. 99% the spirits headed towards a line that said EZ death, which just so happened to be straddled by the worlds biggest Doberman. Did I mention the fact that this thing had three heads? And all three heads were growling at us.

"Dude, do you have any suggestions on how to bypass a giant, bloodthirsty, hungry, three-headed Doberman intent on killing us and or eating us?" I asked nobody in general.

"Well, there is something." Percy replied.

"Uh, guys? Cerberus says that the living don't belong in hell, and he's hungry." Grover whispered.

"Oh, great. I'm going to die being eaten by a three-headed Doberman." I shouted.

"Dude, pity yourself later. I've got an idea." Percy told me. He casually walked over to Cerberus and shouted,"Hey boy! Do you want the stick?" he began waving a stick around and Cerberus' middle head followed its movement, but the other two heads were trained on Percy. "Go get the stick!" Percy shouted, throwing the stick, which just so happened to plop into the Styx. Cerberus was not impressed.

"Uh, guys? I know this is a bad time, but Cerberus will give us ten seconds to pray to a god of choice, and then he'll eat us." Grover said shakily.

"I've always loved dogs, so I'm hesitant to do this, but..." I stammered. I clapped my hands and transmuted a giant buncy ball. Cerberus immediately began wagging his tail. I transmuted a hand to throw the ball, and Cerberus was not at all hesitant to follow the ball. While he was distracted, we snuck through the "EZ Death" line.

"Man, that was close." Grover sighed.

"Where'd you learn that trick?" Annabeth asked me.

"I watched my neighbor's dog for a week when I was a kid." I explained. I hoped it would prove to my mom I could have one of my own. Didn't work.

I heard a loud whine from the tunnel entrance and turned around to see Cerberus looking into the tunnel, expecting me to throw the ball again. I sighed and transmuted another hand and threw the ball all the way to where the ferry let us off. We kept running through the tunnel, and eventually we came into the largest cavern I have ever seen. The only reason I knew it was a cavern was from the stalactites on the ceiling. Some of them had fallen, and they were still sitting embedded in the ground. When I looked up, there were clouds.

"Hey guys," Percy said. "Check this out." We walked over to him. He was standing near the edge of a large hole. We stiffened, sensing something evil in it.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I really don't know," Annabeth replied. "Something you learn is that the Underworld is a strange place."

"Almost too strange. I had a hard time finding you, but somehow I just knew you'd be down here." said a strange voice. I recognized that voice almost immediately.

"Get behind me." I whispered to my friends. "And take out our weapons."

"Who is it?" Percy asked?

I turned around. "Fancy meeting you here, _Pride_." He was standing there with his shadows swirling around, and wouldn't you know it, that damned bastard was grinning. I somehow couldn't believe that he had tracked me all the way to the Underworld.

"That's Pride?" Percy asked. We both ignored him.

"How in the hell did you get past the ferryman, anyway?" I asked him.

"Oh, I have my ways." His shadows started creeping up on us.

"How..." I said. "Your shadows...it's too dark..."

"Evidently, not dark enough." Pride said. I made my arm into a sword. He chuckled. "A futile attempt, alchemist, but when you're in the land of shadows, there's no escaping me."

"He's not alone." Percy said.

"That's right, Pride." I said. "I have my own squad to help me now. You won't get away so easily this time."

"We shall see, State Alchemist." he replied.

"Yeah, we shall all see you get your shiny white ass kicked into next week." I shot back. For the first time ever, Pride actually looked angry. It was very, very weird. It wasn't a frown so much as a smirk, and a glare so much as looking down upon me. "Pride, are you pissed off that I just burned you and you can't think of a comeback?" I asked.

"Anger doesn't exist within me. Nor does Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Sloth, or Envy. I am Pride. All other unnecessary emotions were kept within Father's body. The rest of homunculi died with him." he rold me. "And now, I must destroy your pitiful little friends, and use you to return to Amestris. Goodbye, Alexander Joseph Monroe."

Pride attacked. We all jumped out of the way.

"How do you defeat him?" Percy asked, dodging an arm

"The light." I responded. "He needs shadows to form his arms, without them, he's useless." Annabeth hacked one of Pride's arms, which disappeared; however, more just came back in its place.

"He sure picked a good place to confront us." Annabeth remarked. "The Underworld is full of shadows." Pride had picked up the pace. He really did mean to kill us.

Suddenly, the arms stopped attacking us. Instead, the slithered over to Grover's petrified form.

"They said it would be helpful to kill the demigods." Pride mused. "On the edge of Tartarus, I think I've found an opportunity." Pride's shadows started to slink around Grover's legs, dragging him towards Tartarus.

"NO!" Percy shouted and advanced on Pride.

"Stop, Percy, you can't-" My warning came too late. Pride lashed out and sent Percy flying.

_The shadows, _I thought_. Charon said...there is one place there would be none._

Using Pride's attack on Percy a distraction, I transmuted a hand that slapped Pride across the nothingness that surrounded us. The shadows slid off Grover, and Percy, recovering from the blow, went to aid his friend.

"We got to push him back!" I said.

"To where?" Annabeth asked. Pride stirred.

"Not far, to the place where there is no shadow." The answer dawned on Annabeth, and she charged Pride.

"Cover me!" She said, and I advanced as well, dashing the shadow-arms in her path. She threw her knife into one of Pride's arm. As he pulled it out, Percy barreled into him, knocking him closer to Erebus. I transmuted fist after fist, trying to keep Pride too occupied to launch a counter attack.

Feet from Erebus, things went haywire. In a split second, Pride had recovered and started attacking again. With his second wind, he managed to knock out Percy and Annabeth. He had me trapped.

"You know, maybe I won't kill your friends." Pride said. "I could always leave them for their monsters. You, however, I need." I snuck around so my back was to Erebus. "If you come quietly, I may only use part of you to open the gate." He started advancing, and I started back-peddling. I felt a chill as I passed into the darkness of Erebus. Pride stopped and laughed. "Foolish alchemist, I know what you're up to. There's no way you will get me into Erebus. I'll just have to wait until-" Pride gasped. Percy's sword protruded out of Pride's chest.

"You'll have to wait until I push you." Percy said, and at that, Percy shoved Pride over into Erebus, the shadows surrounding Pride disappearing. I transmuted somewhat of a grave to cover Pride's unconscious body.

"Now you'll have to wait until one of your friends comes to find you." I said. I turned to Percy. "Thanks man, I owe you one." Percy grinned.

"No problem." He replied, helping an awake Annabeth up.

"Did we get him?" Annabeth asked groggily.

"Yeah." I replied. "Won't be seeing him for a while."

"Where's Grover?"

"I left him by Tartarus." Percy explained. "He's ok, I just didn't think he was in fighting condition." We retreated back to Tartarus. Grover was there, looking perplexingly at Percy's backpack.

"Dude." Grover said to Percy. "Something's wrong with your backpack. It's like, twenty pounds heavier using usual."

"I grabbed some extra supplies from the Casino." Percy explained. "But you're exaggerating, man. It's not that heavy." Percy picked it up and groaned from the weight. "What the hell is in this thing?" He muttered.

"Come on." Annabeth said. "We can figure this out later. We need to find Hades."

"We're coming Mom." Percy called, and we headed off towards Hades' castle.

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HOW IS THE STORY COMING ALONG? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW!

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	12. Parlaying with Hades

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK! I am sorry for the long wait, for I have been at school and on vacation. This next chapter is a doozy! Disclaimer: I do not on Percy jackson or fullmetal alchemist. And now, our story.

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We were all pretty beat up after running into Pride. Especially Grover, who was still shaking from his run-in with him. Percy's backpack was scratched up, like he dropped it into a croccodile cage. Luckily, his backpack was the worst of us. Annabeth's sleeve was ripped at the shoulder, and her shorts were frayed at one leg. Percy's back had a claw mark on it resembling that of a genetically enhanced wildcat. Besides the gash on my leg, I was fine; my automail was only lightly damaged. We continued forward in the darkness.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached Hades' castle. The castle itself was incredible, spanning the entire cave it was built out of. Gargoyles and other monstrosities emerged from the parpets, casting a dark eye at all who enter. A massive door separated the Hell outside from the one inside. There were guards armed with machine guns, guarding the door, and there were also three nasty bat-person hybrid things holding whips that looked like they were made of fire. I almost didn't see them at first, they blended in so well with the gargoyles, I bet they would have been flattered.

We approached the door. The guards flinched their Tommies, and I noticed the guards were skeletons. Decaying corpses with semi-automatics. Great.

"We seek an audience with Hades." Percy said. The soul-fire in the guards' eyes dimmed, giving the impression they were squinting suspiciously at us. "We have come about Zeus' bolt." The guards looked at each other, then nodded. The guards stepped aside, and we entered the castle.

The inside was just as grand as the outside, though in dire need of an interior decorator. Everything was dark black. The rug, the sconces, the curtains. This guy must have serious emo issues. A butler of sorts (a corpse, mind you) led us down the main hall. At the end of it, there was a man sitting on a throne of skeletal remains. As we got closer, the man scowled. His robe seemed to be made up of human forms. To me, it looked kind of like a big, flowing, black philosopher's stone.

"Percy Jackson," the man said with a slight chuckle, "you finally have the nerve to show your face here. You are either brave, or by far the most stupid of all people to come before me."

Percy took a breath. "Uncle, I have come to you with two requests."

"Wait a second. This dude is Percy's uncle?" I whispered to Annabeth.

"Technically, yes. Hades is one of Posideon's brothers. So, being the son of Posideon, Hades is Percy's uncle." she replied.

"Speak then boy. You treat me as if you have taken nothing from me, but it does amuse me to keep you alive for now." Hades said icily. I looked around as skeletal guards grabbed their weapons, ready to kill us at a moment's notice.

"Please sir, there can't be a war of the gods. It would be, well, to put it mildly, bad." Percy said.

"Really bad." Grover added.

"Please, Uncle, let me have the bolt and return it to Zeus so this conflict can be ended." Percy said, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

Hades stood up, the souls on his robe shifting. "You wish to keep using this charade that you don't have the bolt after what you have done?!" We all looked at each other, wondering what the heck he meant by that. So Percy spoke up.

"Uncle, you said 'after what I have done'. So, what exactly did I do?" Percy asked?Suddenly, the room began to tremor so much, that I think they were feeling it on the surface. Hades stood up, looking twice as menacing as before.

"You are the one who has stolen Zeus' master bolt!" He shouted. "Zeus may not suspect you, but I am no fool, Percy Jackson. I know that you were the thief on the winter solstice. You stole Zeus' master bolt and my helm of darkness!" Hades roared.

"What's this helm of darkness thingy? I am totally lost in this conversation." I whispered to Annabeth.

"YOU SHALL NOT INTERRUPT OUR CONVERSATION YOU IMPUDENT MORTAL!" Hades screamed, pointing a finger at me. I am so glad Annabeth was there to restrain me, or I probably would have gotten myself killed trying to beat up Hades.

"But Uncle," Percy said, pressing the conversation away from me, "wouldn't having a war of the gods be a good thing for you? I mean, it would expand your kingdom, right?" Percy asked.

"A typical thing of my brothers to say!" Hades scoffed. "Have you seen the sprawl of the Fields of Asphodel? More security personnel, double overtime for the staff, a six year long wait to get into the judgment chambers."

"Charon wants a pay raise!" Percy blurted out. I face-palmed.

"Don't even get me started with Charon! He's been impossible ever since he began wearing Italian suits! And my expenses! I used to be an extremely wealthy god, Percy Jackson! I control all of the precious metals under the earth! But after the day is done, I barely have enough to pay my staff, so no Perseus Jackson, I do not need to expand my kingdom." he said, and sat back down in his chair. "So return to me, my Helm of Darkness!"

"Wait, lord Hades, your Helm of Darkness is missing?" Annabeth asked.

"He mentioned that earlier, Annabeth." I whispered.

"STAY SILENT OR I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN MYSELF YOU STUPID BRAINLESS MORTAL!" Hades screamed at me. I was absolutely sick of this stupid god belittling me just because I was a mortal. I had literally clapped my hands and was just about to make the worlds biggest volcanic explosion right underneath the city of Los Angeles, when Annabeth judo-flipped me onto the floor and stood on me so I couldn't do anything else for the rest of the meeting.

"Back to our conversation, yes, daughter of Athena, my Helm is missing. It was stolen on the winter solstice, along with Zeus' master bolt. But I said nothing, for I knew that no matter what happened, I would get no help, or even a hint of justice, even if Zeus hadn't lost his master bolt." he said.

"So you just let us come here?" Percy asked.

"Yes, originally I had planned on capturing you and bringing you here, and then forcing you to give me my Helm and the master bolt. But when I realized that you were coming to me by yourself, I didn't try to stop you. Why do you think it was so easy to reach my domain?" he replied.

"It wasn't the least bit easy! Why did you grant amnesty to Pride?" I asked.

"Amnesty?" Hades said, surprised. "That child was here of his own accord; I believe he came strait out of Tartarus, wouldn't be surprised. He sent a message to me, saying that after I took you four prisoner that he wants you for himself."

"And?"

"Too pushy. Too many demands. He was lucky to make it out of here alive. He even destroyed one of my favorite tapestries in the process..." He glanced to his right; a shredded tapestry desperately clung to the wall.

"And what about those other monsters?" Percy asked. Hades' face darkened.

"I had nothing to do with them. They were summoned from Tartarus by something else." he replied.

_Pride_, I thought, or was I wrong?

"Well then, if you don't have the master bolt, then who does?" Annabeth asked.

"You do, you fools! You come all this way, trying to blackmail me, but you are too proud to admit that you have failed. Go ahead! Open Up your backpack." he said casually. Percy had a stunned look on his face. He opened the backpack, and there it was: Zeus' master bolt. So that's why Percy's backpack was heavier. But it wasn't until we reached the Underworld. Regardless, it really was magnificent, with an opalescent glow. It lit up the room, removing some of the doom from the room.

But then Hades spoke up again. "You see? You heroes are all the same. But all the same, I have come up with a new proposal: return to me my Helm and the master bolt, or I will stop death. I will let the dead crawl back into the world of the living. And you, Perseus Jackson, will lead them out of Hell. And if you give them to me, who knows? I might even give you your mother back." Hades smiled. Percy, on the other hand, did not. A ball of fire burst to life in Hades' hand. It took form of a middle-aged woman who must have been Percy's mom. Percy lunged for her, but she disappeared.

"You have to understand, we don't have your Helm." Annabeth beseeched, finally letting me off the floor.

"You had the bolt, who says you don't have my Helm?" Hades said suspiciously.

"Uh, give us a sec." Percy said, and pulled us into a group huddle.

"Guys, take Percy's mom. I'll stay behind." Grover said. "I'm a satyr, and our souls aren't like humans. He can torture me until I die, but then I'll be reincarnated as a flower or something."

"No, I'll stay. You need to finish your quest, and I have some unfinished business with this guy." Annabeth said.

"Why does anyone have to stay?" I asked,

"A.J is right." Percy said. He took out the pearls from his pocket and handed one to each of us. "Alright guys, just step on these and they'll take us to the surface." I fingered my pearl, anxious to see what it will do.

We turned around. "I'm sorry, Uncle, but we didn't steal the bolt, and we also didn't steal your Helm." Percy said.

"Do not defy me nephew..." Hades snarled, standing up again, the souls crying my name as they contorted around the robe.

"Don't for get that Charon wants a pay raise. And Cerberus likes rubber balls. You should play with him more often. Now guys!" Percy shouted, and we all stepped on our pearls.

For a second, nothing happened, but them Hades shouted something to his guards, and they charged us. I glanced around as the skeleton warriors shot at us, but suddenly, we were encased in a shimmering shell. Everything bounced harmlessly off of it.

We began to rise. The last thing I saw was Hades yelling at us, and the ground shaking like crazy. I looked up: we were about to hit the ceiling of the massive cavern, and I braced for impact, but none came. We just kept rising, until we hit the surface of Santa Monica bay. We knocked over a surfer and he said something about bad vibes. Percy was frowning, like he just figured something out. I sighed as I realized my automail would take forever to dry out now. I looked at Annabeth and Grover, who were both flailing around.

"OH MY GOD! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY FOOT!" Annabeth shouted. Looking into the Pulse, I found out it was some sort of large fish. I decided not to tell Annabeth...yet.

"Time to swim." Percy said, and started to hightail it towards the beach. "Just follow the waves." That gave me an idea.

"Relax, ok." I said, and swiveled around.

"What's going-" Grover was cut off as I clapped my hands and created a massive wave that was heading towards us.

"Are you crazy?" Annabeth asked before the wave hit.

"No, just lazy." I replied, and the wave overcame us, sending us towards the shore.

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So? How was it? Please review and let me know! More action packed chapters are coming soon! Make sure to review!


	13. We Find Out the Truth, Sort of

**HELLO****, WE HAVE RETURNED WITH A SHINING NEW CHAPTER! HOPE YOU ENJOY! Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and The Olympians or Fullmetal Alchemist (or the Avengers; try to catch the reference)**

**And now, back to the story!**

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I seriously advise against riding a wave through 400 yards of ocean without a surfboard. As Annabeth would tell you, it was like getting thrown around in a washing machine. Grover almost lost one of his shoes twice, I had to transmute my pocket shut to keep from losing my pocket watch, and even though he could breath underwater, Percy wasn't too keen on riding a wave created by someone else. All in all, we were water-logged and angry. But we continued on our merry way, crashing towards the beach.

When the wave hit a sandbar, we careened forward and rolled onto the beach, effectively coating ourselves in sand.

"Breaded fish and chips." A voice said from the shore. "Yum." I shook the water from my ears and waited for my vision to clear.

I must have also pissed off the god of bad luck, because who should we meet as soon as we regained our footing? None other than our favorite god of war, Ares. He was leaning on his Harley, looking like he was expecting us. He flashed us a trademark smirk.

"Wasn't expecting to see you punks alive. I was sure that you'd have died in the Underworld." He glanced at me. "And I was also sure that you would've stopped tagging along with that mortal."

"Yeah, well "this mortal" is standing right here, and is quite fed up with not being called by his name, which is Alexander Joseph Monroe cough* cough*" I spat.

"Oh well I'm sooooooooooo sorry, mortal." Ares replied sarcastically. I was seriously on the brink of roundhouse kicking Ares on the face when Percy spoke up.

"You were the one who stole Zeus's master bolt." Ares eyes lit up, as if he was excited to be caught. "You set us up, and you stole Hades' Helm of Darkness as well." Percy said.

Ares started to cackle like a witch. "Guilty as charged...mostly." Our expressions changed to confusion. "Well, you're right that I set you up," Ares told us between gasps, "but gods stealing other gods' symbols of power? That's a big no-no." He suddenly stopped laughing and smiled so wickedly that a crocodile would run away crying. "But you aren't the only hero in the world to run errands."

"Who did you use?" Percy said, getting defensive. "Clarisse? She was there at the summer solstice."

Ares chuckled. "Doesn't matter. But all the same, Jackson, you and your friends made it out of Hades alive. So I've got to kill you so I still get my family war. If you had died in Hell, like I wanted you to, Poseidon would blame Hades for killing you, Hades would have Zeus's master bolt, and Hades still wouldn't know who took this Helm." As Ares said this, he pulled a ski mask out of his back pocket and placed it on his motorcycle. Immediately, it transformed into a war helmet made out of a dark material that strangely resembled the cloak that Hades was wearing. I assumed that it was the Helm of Darkness. "But pretty soon after they were done pointing fingers, we would have a nice three-way slugfest going on." Ares told us.

"Wait, back up a bit. We were actually inside the lord of the dead?" I asked Annabeth, thinking about one of the stories Ed told me about when they fought the homunculus called "father".

"No moron, Hades is also the name of the Underworld." Annabeth whispered.

Grover stepped up, his face twisted with confusion. "Why would you want a war of the gods? They're your own family!"

"Family wars are always the bloodiest. My favorite kind of war."

"You gave us the backpack in Denver. Was the master bolt in there the whole time?" I asked.

"Well, yes and no. This is probably too complicated for your puny brains to follow, but the backpack was the bolt's sheath. I tampered with the looks a bit, and it became a backpack. The bolt is anchored to it, kind of like how your friend's sword always returns to his pocket. I tampered with the magic as well, and when you got to Hades, bingo. You got mail. And if you died along the way, it was no problem. I would still have the master bolt." He said.

"I get you stealing the Helm of Darkness, but why did you let me take the bolt to Hades? Why didn't you keep it? That must have been a serious weapon of war." Percy said. Ares got a puzzled look on his face.

"Yeah, why didn't I keep it? That would be some serious firepower..." but then he shook it off. "Anyway Jackson, you and your buddies and the mortal made it out alive. So you have to die, Nothing personal, you understand." He snapped his fingers and the biggest, ugliest boar in the world appeared. It snorted, and then charged at us.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted, tired of all this magical stuff. "This isn't possible!" Ares' laughter rang through the air.

The boar decided to go after the nice, juicy, son of Poseidon. Reacting quickly, I sent hand that smacked the boar away, but accidently clipped Percy, sending him flying into the water. He shot me daggers.

"Stay there!" Annabeth shouted, running away from the boar as it came closer. "You're strongest there." Percy agreed, and sent a jet of water at the boar, knocking the boar unconscious and allowing Annabeth to escape.

Suddenly, I felt something wet grab my wrist. Percy had attempted to make a hand out of the water, like I could with my alchemy. I chuckled a little and ran over to him.

"Do you guys have pirates in Amestris?" He asked. I shook my head. "Well, I need you to lure the boar over here and cover him up to his neck in sand, I have a plan." I looked at him strangely, but complied. The boar was up now, shaking its head. I whistled to get its attention.

"What the hell are you doing?" Annabeth shouted.

"A favor for Percy." I said as the boar charged. I took a step back, and clapped my hands. As I touched the sand, it rose up like a blanket, covering the boar so only its head was free. For an added measure, I changed the sand to cement to keep the boar from breaking free.

Ares was seething with rage. "Don't you dare, Jackson!" He shouted, but it fell on deaf ears. Percy brought the tide in, drowning the boar in the death trap I created. It disappeared into gold dust and was washed away with the ebb.

Percy staggered out of the water and gave me a high-five. "Nice work bro." He said. I nodded.

Ares looked even angrier. "That wasn't for you mortal. Fighting you would be way below me, but even sending a minion after you isn't worth my time. Stay out of this fight, alchemist. You're not on our level." Ares spat. I would tolerate no more shit about me being below everybody just because I was a mortal, so before Ares could summon another boar, I clapped my hands, and a caldera the size of a city block erupted under Ares, sending him flying backwards and enveloped in a flaming mass of molten rock. He slammed into the ground about 100 yards away, a murderous look in his eyes.

Suddenly, a bronze sword about six feet long materialized in his hands, and he charged me. I recognized the metal as Celestial bronze, and I knew that it wouldn't hurt me; I just stood there.

Even though I knew I wasn't going to die, time still slowed down. The water became a distant echo. I distantly heard Annabeth screaming for me to get out of the way, but it was distorted, like I was being held underwater. I looked Ares in the eye as he charged me, the savageness of war reflected in his expression. He knew he had me. He swung his sword, and it went right through me.

He dropped his sword and staggered a bit, confused as hell. "Wh-wh-wha-?"

I laughed and gave him a roundhouse kick to the face. He staggered backwards. Before I could land another hit, he picked me up by the legs and threw me across the beach.

I was in trouble this time. There was no way for me to break my fall. I noticed Percy shooting for the water out of the corner of my eye as I returned to Earth, and the splash of cold, brackish water as it hit the side of my body. My trajectory was altered just enough, and I landed in a sand dune, the wind knocked out of me.

The world spun when I tried to sit up, so I just rolled over. Pain erupted in my chest. I tapped into the pulse to asses the damage, and it turned out that I had broken three ribs, one dangerously close to a lung. The only thing that I could move was my head, and the only thing I could see was Percy locked in a duel to the death with Ares. The sun glinted off Ares' sword, making it look like the muzzle flash of a gun. I noticed Annabeth standing in the water, shouting something at Percy.

Ares was pressing Percy into the surf, and they went up to their knees in water. Strangely, neither of them were hindered at all by the sudden change in medium: both moved through the water as if it were not there. I wanted to shout at Percy about how sloppy he was getting, even in the water. I groaned and tried to roll over again. Overcome by a wave of pain, I managed to make my hands meet and settle them on my chest. Instantly, my ribs knitted themselves back together. Receiving less of a response when I moved now, I managed to roll over and sit up on the dune, immediately coughing up blood. The surf picked up the fluid and washed it away.

Now relatively stable, I turned my attention to the matter at hand. My automail wasn't badly damaged, nothing a quick clap of my hands couldn't fix. My sword was still intact on it, in fighting condition. I turned towards Percy, when Annabeth tackled me from behind.

"What the hell, man?" I shouted as my face made contact with the dune I just worked so hard to leave.

"Oh no, you are not fighting in that condition." Annabeth said. "Percy banned me from the fight, so you can't help either."

"But look at him-"

"He's got a plan. A crazy-ass plan, but one that will work. Now be a good boy and sit here."

"Yes, mother dear." I mumbled and rolled my eyes.

The battle was escalating, but in Ares' favor. Percy was constantly on the defensive as he parried blow after blow from the possesed god. Suddenly, Percy lowered his sword. Ares, thinking he had an easy blow, raised his sword above his head and charged. Percy sent a large wave his way, swallowing him. He came up coughing and sputtering.

When are you not going to fall for that, I thought, remembering me dodging Ares after the little volcano explosion.

The god surfaced, coughing and sputtering; swearing so loudly I could hear him from all the way across the beach. Using Ares' distraction to his advantage, Percy went for a slash at the war god's back. Ares deflected it, but fell off balance. As if waiting for this opening, Percy laughed and drove his sword into the war god's heel.

The roaring shockwave that followed made Hades' earthquake look like a magnitude .000000001. If I could rank shockwaves, then this would be about a 110. The water retreated from Ares' cries, and there was a 50-foot wide crater around him. Golden liquid was flowing from the wound in his heel. Ares limped towards Percy muttering something I couldn't hear. Just as it looked as if the fight would continue, the sky darkened. Time slowed down, and the temperature seemed to drop below freezing. I sensed something big, something evil, attached to this sudden darkness. I was about to call it out, but just as quickly as it darkened, the sky lightened.

Ares had a stunned look on his face. He looked at Percy and said, "You have made an enemy. Every time you lift your blade in combat, you will feel my curse. Beware mortals, beware." Then the weirdest thing happened. Ares started glowing like he was radioactive.

"GUYS, LOOK AWAY!" Annabeth shouted. I did what she said, and there was a blinding flash of golden light. I was knocked to the ground as an energy wave rippled out from Ares. The glow faded. Annabeth let out a sigh of relief. "It's over." I heard her mumble. Percy had a goofy smile on his face, and Grover reappeared (I had later found out he had turned into a shrub to hide from Ares' boar).

I tried to stand, and failed miserably. Apparently I hadn't patched up my ribs as well as I thought I had, because as soon as I stood up, I heard a loud CRACK! and pain erupted in my chest. I collapsed, and started coughing up blood again. One of the ribs had punctured my lung. I floundered in the sand like a fish out of water, struggling to obtain the precious oxygen. Everybody ran to my side. Annabeth rolled me over onto my back. Percy pulled something out of his backpack that looked like a golden graham cracker.

"Don't give it to him. He's mortal, and mortals can't eat ambrosia. No offense, A.J." Annabeth told us.

"This is a medical emergency! He's broken three ribs!" Percy shouted. I could feel my face turning a shade of blue as cyanosis started.

"H..Help." I sputtered.

"You see? He needs it, or he might die anyway, whether it's burning up, or suffocation. I'm giving it to him." Percy said. And with that, he stuffed it into my mouth. I nearly choked on the damn things before I could actually swallow them, but once I did, it tasted like my grandmother's home-made apple pie. A prickling sensation creeped its way up my chest, like ants crawling around inside me. I could feel my ribs stitching themselves back together. It wasn't just that, though. My senses seemed more acute: my vision cleared and my hearing sharpened. I bolted upwards, wide awake.

"Wow. What was that stuff? I feel like a million dollars right now!" I shouted.

"Are your ribs broken anymore?" Percy asked.

"No. Not anymore." I replied. "In fact, I don't think anything's broken anymore. I feel great!" I was just going to lapse into a moment of pure ecstasy when a shivver traveled down my spine. Three spots darkened the horizon. We were all staring as they came into view. They were three old ladies with leathery bat wings and flaming whips. Something about them surfaced a memory of us in the Underworld, looking at the Fields of Punishment. "Are those.."

"...the three furies? Yes. Yes they are." Percy answered me.

"So, it truly was not you?" the first one asked as it approached.

"No. We were fooled. We all were." Percy told them. "Here, take this to lord Hades. Tell him the truth." Percy tossed the middle Fury Hades' Helm of Darkness.

"Hm. Live well, Percy Jackson. Become a true hero. Because if you fail, and if you ever come into my clutches again..." it let the threat hang in the air. It cackled, and then the three furies flew away.

"Well, how in the fuck are we going to get to New York now?" I asked. "It took us days to get here. We'll never make it back in time."

"Yes we will, but we'll have to fly." Grover said nervously.

"Didn't Zeus say never to fly ever?" Percy said.

"Yeah, but there's no other way to get there." Annabeth confirmed.

"So how do we fly? Do you guys have godly powers that let you do that?" I asked.

"No. We'll just take a plane." Percy said.

"A what?" I asked.

* * *

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	14. The Olympian Council

I'M BAAAAAACK! I do apologize for the long wait, I have been busy at school as of late. But now, I have returned to bestow upon you a shining new chapter! Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the olympians, Fullmetal Alchemist, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

* * *

It isn't my fault that Amestris isn't as technologically advanced as America is (well, if you count alchemy, we're wayyyy above them). I've honestly never dreamed that humans could take to the skies and travel across oceans in a matter of hours. Of course, my crew was staring at me like a bunch of slack-jawed idiots, wondering how the Hel a kid like me could have grown up without knowing about airplanes.

After kindly explaining to them the fact that the cars here are even more modern than the ones back home, they took the liberty of explaining the mechanics of an airplane. A question for the humans on this side of the gate: how were you able to come up with a heavy machine that can fly without alchemy? It seems that the people here, though alchemy-less, are still full of surprises.  
One problem still remained: how could we get ourselves back to New York with the bolt on time?  
"Why can't we use this flying contraption?" I asked. "It sounds as if it will get us there in a matter of hours."  
"Yes, but it would be...against good judgement for Percy to fly." Annabeth explained.  
"Why?"  
Annabeth glanced at Percy. "My father is the lord of the seas," Percy said, as if it would answer the question to life itself (that's 42, by the way). I stared blankly back at him. Percy rolled his eyes. "So basically, my father and Zeus have a huge sibling rivalry, and if a son of Poseidon is ever caught in the air, they might get blasted to smithereens."  
"What about a child of Zeus in the water?" I asked.  
Percy looked down. "I don't even want to think about that." I nodded in agreement. We weighed our options and figured that Zeus would sense that we had his magical weapon and let us bring it to him (we hoped he would, at least). However, before we even left the beach, we hit a roadblock.  
Swarming the beach were dozens of reporters. They had seen the battle and wanted the scoop.  
"Oh, no." Percy said and sighed.  
"What? Scared of a little fame?" I raised my eyebrows teasingly.  
"No, it's just my step-dad, Smelly Gabe, went on the news after Mom and I disappeared, claiming I was a fugitive and a delinquent punk who kidnapped his mother." He swept his hands out at the oncoming horde of reporters. "Now I have to deal with them." I smiled as a plan formed in my head. Quick thinking, as always.  
"Play along." I told the others, and took off towards the group.  
"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" I shouted. "FINALLY, SOMEONE'S COME TO RESCUE US!" That stopped the group. I turned back to my friends, winked, then turned back to the reporters. "Did you see that big, burly man all in black there?" Some of the reporters nodded. "He kidnapped us, right off the street! From all over the country!" Reporters started scribbling. "I think there was a woman with us, but I stopped hearing her scream around the third day, so..." I heard some gasps as I trailed off. I smiled inside: my plan was working. "I heard the truck stop, and when he opened the door, we were here. He said our parents didn't give him the ransom money in time and threw us on to the beach. Suddenly, he pulled out a gun, and would have killed us if my friend hadn't taken the man's sword and defended us. PERCY! COME HERE!" I shouted the last bit back to my crew. Percy hesitantly ran over. I returned to the news hounds. "He's a hero, I say. I owe him my life!"  
As Percy approached, the reporters started bustling again. "Mr. Jackson!" one of them shouted, "were you really kidnapped?"  
Percy shuddered for effect. "Yes. My mother and I walked to the store to buy some food, and out of nowhere this guy pulled a gun and forced my mom and I into his van. We stopped three more times, each to pick up Annabeth, Grover, and A.J. here. He separated my mother and I, and she wasn't on the beach when he took us off," I swear to god he had a tear in his eye at this point, "I just hope she's ok..."  
"What about your step-dad," another reporter piped up, "what do you say to him?"  
Percy looked up, the same gleam in his eye as I get when I've thought of the perfect prank. "All I want, besides to see my mother safe, is to go back to New York and see my step-dad. Every so often, I would hear him on the radio from the back of the truck, and I knew he was doing everything in his power to rescue me. I'm sure he would want to reward the entire city of Los Angeles with a free major appliance. Get your pens ready, here's the number." Percy winked at me as the reporters were writing it down.  
Annabeth and Grover had trotted (no pun intended) over to us during Percy's speech.  
"What a load of shit." Annabeth whispered to me. "You really know how to weave a web (oh the irony, coming from her).  
"It's a gift. Anything to get us past the reporters." I smirked. Annabeth rolled her eyes.  
The city manager had showed up by now, with four first-class tickets to one New York City.  
"This is great, A.J.," Percy said, "your first plane ride, and you get to go first-class."  
"Let's just hope it's not my last." I mumbled.  
I could hear the airport before we arrived. The sound of the jet engine jarring me out of my sleep.  
"Wait 'till you see them up close." Annabeth said and nudged me. Oh god, how I hate her. We had to sprint to get to the plane, especially after my rut with a security officer at a stop called "security". We boarded the plane, and I still had no idea how a 50 ton hunk of metal could get of the ground. Percy pulled me into the seat next to him because I was causing a road block behind me. We didn't let go of the armrest until we landed in New York. It could have been worse, I guess. Annabeth sat next to Grover, and he threw up six times.  
"I have to take Grover back to camp." Annabeth said as we hailed a taxi. Percy nodded, and let them take the first cab.  
"Camp?" I asked, getting into the next cab with Percy.  
"Empire State Building, make it quick." Percy told the driver, who just nodded. He then turned to me. "Camp Half-Blood. You may be surprised, but all the gods/goddesses have children, and they all stay at the camp during the summer, both to train, and for their safety. Monsters are everywhere and aren't picky about the demigods they eat." Percy said after noticing my confused look.  
"I don't have a place to stay, could I possibly stay there with you guys?" I asked. Percy leaned back.  
"I don't know, man. There's a magical boundary that keeps out mortals." My eye twitched at that word. Percy looked at me. "We'll see. I'll talk to Mr. D. Maybe he'll make an exception.  
"Mr. D?"  
"Camp director. Dionysis. He's serving some sort of punishment." Percy glanced out the window. "Well, welcome to New York." I furrowed my brow in confusion, wondering how this run down dump could be the amazing New York City. "You're looking at Brooklyn, man." Percy explained, "Over there is Manhattan." I followed Percy's gaze across a river and saw the city. Brooklyn was a disappointment, but Manhattan sure wasn't. I honestly think there was drool on the window from my gaping at it. The buildings were sleek and modern. And huge! There was nothing like this in Amestris. I had even had the pleasure (or displeasure, depends on who you ask) of basking in the glory of what is Fort Briggs, not too far from my home town. Briggs would have been dwarfed by these buildings. We hit some traffic coming across the 'Brooklyn Bridge' as Percy called it. However, just as we were crossing into Manhattan, I glanced over at an abandoned factory at the edge of the river, and I swear I saw a glowing mansion on top of it. It disappeared from view soon, but not from my mind.

After about ten minutes of stop, start, stop, start traffic, we arrived at the largest of the buildings.

"Empire State Building." The cabbie said in an amusing accent.

"Our stop." Percy said, and gave the driver a few bills.

The lobby of the building was relatively empty, good for our cause. An elderly security guard sat at the desk, and Percy approached.

"We need to go to the 600th floor." Percy said. I had absolutely no idea that there were only about 102 floors in the Empire State Building, so I thought Percy was being serious.

"There is no 600th floor, kid. Shove off." the man replied gruffly.

"I need to talk to Zeus." Percy told him.

"Zeus doesn't talk to people without an appointment." the man replied.

"Here's my appointment." Percy said, opening up his backpack. Zeus's master bolt sparked and crackled with electricity. The man was stunned.

"Ok then. Take this security key, and put it in the slot. Make sure nobody is in the elevator with you. Oh, and the mortal has to stay here." The man said. I'd had enough of the "this mortal" thing, as you probably know, so I grabbed the man by the throat and shoved him up against the wall.

"Excuse me, I must have misheard you. What did you just call me?" I asked with a steely tone to my voice.

"I'm *gack* sorry, sir. *wheeze* You can go *ack* with him. *cough*" The man replied. I released him, and he slid to the floor.

Percy and I started walking towards the elevator, and we did as the man said.

After the doors shut, Percy said, "Dude, you were totally kickass there."

"I know. I could not handle people referring to me as 'mortal' anymore. Please restrain me if I try to do that to one of the gods." I replied.

On the way up, we were listening to an incredibly odd tune. As it wore on, i swear the man was singing hit some notes that weren't meant to be hit by a man. "Hey dude, what the heck is this music?" I asked Percy.

Percy grimaced. "It's called disco. It was huge in the 70's. But as the decade wore on, people got tired of it. So eventually, people started partying when disco died. Now, most people still hate it. But apparently not those who work in the Empire State Building." He replied.

"How long ago was the '70's'." I asked.

"A while."

I nodded. I thought that "disco" was okay, but obviously, Percy did not. He seemed relieved when the elevator stopped and we got out.

When we got out of the elevator, I almost passed out. We were standing on a 6 foot wide walkway that was suspended over Manhattan Island. I quickly lost that sense of vertigo, as of the fact that I grew up in the mountains, and I was used to such dizzying heights. Percy seemed to hold his own as we walked on the walkway to the peak of Olympus.

To say the least, it was beyond words. There was an uncountable number of statues and temples built to honor various gods and goddesses. Random floral arrangements and topiaries lined the sidewalk further ahead. It was dark outside, hopefully reflecting the end of the day in New York and not our impending doom.

As we walked through the city, I saw a group of 9 women tuning instruments and singing. One of them shyly waved at me, and not knowing what to do, waved back. Her posse giggled when I did, and I couldn't help but blush.

But of all the amazing buildings, one stood out from all the others. It was so massive, it would probably dwarf the Empire State Building. We stood there for a moment, gaping at its sheer mass. Percy entered, and I realized it was the building where the Olympian council met. We ran into it to find 12 chairs, with 11 people. Both of which were arranged in a horseshoe shape. The two gods furthest away from us were a man and a woman. The woman had a golden crown upon her head, and next to her was a man with a tousled black beard, long black hair, and a pinstripe suit. On his left was a man in an orange shirt with flowers on it. He looked odd. Odd in the fact that he had no recognizable expression on his face. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. There was one person missing, and I immediately assumed that it was Ares.

We were being stared at, and I fidgeted under their gaze. But then, to break the silence, Percy looked at the man in the flowered shirt, and he said, "Father."

"Wait, that guy is your dad?" I whispered to Percy. Before he could answer, Percy's dad interjected.

"Hello Percy. I am proud of you for making it this far." He said. Then the dude in the pinstripe suit stood up.

"Shouldn't you address the master of the house first, boy?" he said. I immediately disliked this guy. He seemed to overconfident and was an overall hater. I could tell that he regarded Percy as a criminal.

With Percy and his father carrying out a conversation, I decided to find out who these people were by myself; I tapped into the Pulse. What I saw stunned me. Instead of a dude in a pinstripe suit, I saw a big buff man, who was at least 20 feet tall. He was holding a thunderbolt and a staff with an eagle on it. This got me no closer to figuring out who he was. I turned to Percy's dad. He was the same size as the dude in the pinstripe suit, but he had sea-blue eyes, and he was holding a three-pronged spear (its called a trident, as Percy later told me). I felt my face flush and my body start to heat up. I was so stunned that I tapped out of the pulse.

That was when I realized that everybody was staring at me.

I looked around, and I was like, "What? What's everybody looking at me for? Is it because I'm a mortal? Is that it? Because if it is-"

"Dude, for a minute there, you were literally smoking. Like, on fire smoking." Percy cut me off.

"That's ridiculous. Things don't spontaneously combust; there's no igniter. And anyway, human flesh takes a long time to catch fire, and trust me, I know. After having a few classes with the Colonel, these things happen sometimes. So seriously, what are you talking about?" I wrapped up, seeing as the others weren't interested in an alchemy lesson. Then I turned to the gods. "Well, you people are supposed to be divine entities, so you must have an answer. What the fuck is he talking about?" Percy's dad came over to me.

"What did you just do there?" he asked.

"What do you mean, 'what did I just do'? I was just standing here." I replied.

"No, you did something with your vision. What was it?" he pressed.

"I tapped into the Dragon's Pulse. It lets me see the flow of the earth. It's really cool. Why do you ask? What just happened?" I asked.

"You caught a glimpse of us in our true immortal forms. It was barely anything, for you weren't looking very deeply into the 'flow of the earth' as you call it. But you saw part of our true immortal form, which has never been done before by any demigod, let alone mortal. No offense intended." He said.

"None taken. I'm glad somebody actually has a small shred of decency in this world." I replied. But then, the man in the pinstripe suit spoke up again.

"This is all very well and good, Poseidon, but I would like to hear an explanation for why this boy trespassed in my realm, and I would also like to hear what becomes of my bolt." He said.

"Very well." Poseidon said (who I had just realized was Percy's dad). He then turned to Percy. "Address lord Zeus, boy." He gestured towards the man in the Pinstripe suit. And so, Percy told his everything that happened. The whole Ares debacle, meeting me, Medusa, and everything else that happened to us. The gods listened and whispered among themselves as Percy talked. From their conversations, I heard words like, "Unlike Ares... Deal with him later..." and such. When Percy finished, Zeus scratched his beard. Then he spoke.

"Humph. I should have blasted you out of the sky when you dared to fly. Oh well, though. I shall be taking my bolt back now." he said, reaching out. Percy removed the bolt from the backpack, and chucked it across the room at Zeus. I was really hoping that it would explode in his face and kill him, but instead, Zeus caught it and the whole room crackled with electricity. Before departing, he turned to Percy. "If you ever dare to fly in my domain again, you will taste this bolt. And you, mortal. If I catch you flying with him, you're dead as well." And then, there was a bright flash, and Zeus disappeared along with everybody else, except for Percy's dad. Percy walked up to him, and I said,

"If you need me, I'll be waiting outside." And so, I turned and left the council of the Olympians.

* * *

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	15. If it's all the same to you

**WELCOME BACK TO THE NEWEST CHAPTER! (WRITTEN ALMOST COMPLETELY BY MY SISTER THE pH ALCHEMIST) Sorry about the wait, but now that it's break, i can update much more often. Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or Fullmetal Alchemist, or the few avengers references that we dropped.**

I trolled around the hallway until Percy exited the council chambers. His fast pace suggested things didn't exactly go his way in there.

"Come on." Percy said. "There should be someone waiting for me in my apartment."

Even though we were in the elevator, something else made my stomach drop further. 'Should', Percy said. Something more went on behind the gilded closed doors after I had taken my leave.

At the first floor of the Empire State Building, I looked over at the podium. The old man caught my eye and seemed to duck a little further into his newspaper. I couldn't help but smile inwardly.

Percy hailed a taxi and I was whisked away again into the current of traffic. We turned away from the Empire State Building and towards the water. The taxi rolled to a stop outside a large apartment complex. Percy shoved a wad of cash and had barely said 'keep the change' before he was outside the taxi and running into the apartment building.

"You'll have to excuse my friend." I said, getting out of the taxi as well. I approached the still-swinging door to the building, and walked inside. Just inside, a small plaque had a list of names, most likely the occupants. Scrolling down the list, I found 'Jackson' in apartment 817. I prepped myself and readied for an eight-flight bound up the stairs.

I crawled over the last flight of stairs to see apartment number 817 looming in front of me. The door was ajar, and I pushed it open slightly. Inside, Percy was embracing an older woman I assumed was his mother (but you all know what happens when we assume...).

I cleared my throat. Percy spun around.

"Mom, this is A.J. Monroe. He was on the quest as well, and even saved my life a few times."

So that was his mom. "Actually, Mrs. Jackson, Percy is exaggerating a bit-"

"Well don't stand out there, come in, I'll make some sandwiches." Mrs. Jackson said, walking behind me and shutting the door. We gathered around the kitchen table, and Mrs. Jackson placed PB&J sandwiches in front of Percy and I.

"Thank you." I said and helped myself. It's always nice to have a home favorite such as PB&J in a foreign land.

"So," Mrs. Jackson started, "are you a demigod as well?" I shared a glance at Percy. He shrugged his shoulders, leaving me to my own.

"He's...not from around here." Percy said, but I shot him a look.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not a demigod." I replied. "Though I'm not a normal human." I extended my hand "Alexander Joseph Monroe, State Alchemist."

She shook it. "Sally Jackson," she paused, "housewife." I smiled, thinking of another with that same title. "I'm sorry, but what exactly is a 'State Alchemist'?"

I pulled out my silver pocketwatch. "An alchemist that works for the military."

Mrs. Jackson forward. "No. They have alchemists in our military?"

"Not in your military. I'm from a place called Amestris. It's...quite far away."

"So are you an alien?" I about face-palmed at that.

"*sigh*, It's hard to explain; no, I'm not an alien, but I don't think I'm from this dimension."

"You don't think?"

I paused, gathering my thoughts. How much should I tell her? "I was sucked through a portal and ended up here, separated from the only thing that can get me back. I was on my own quest to find this thing when I stumbled across Percy and his motley crew. We joined forces, which landed us here."

Percy stood up. "I'm sure you'd like to hear of our quest, but I still haven't checked in with Camp yet, so if you'll excuse us..."

"Of course." Mrs. Jackson said, a little disappointed. She turned to me. "But feel free to come back here anytime. If you ever need a place to bunk while on your quest, this apartment is always an option."

"Thank you for the kindness you have shown." I said.

I have discovered that one does not need a car in this country, or at least in New York, for a taxi can take you anywhere. Percy said he would give the cabbie instructions on where to go, and he agreed. We had been driving for about half an hour and were already out of the city. Instead of tall buildings and noisy streets we were driving through rows for farmland.

"Here's fine." Percy said, and the cab jerked to a halt.

"Where's 'here'?" The cabbie asked.

"You keep your mouth shut and you can keep the change." Percy said, and forked over some more American currency. The cabbie accepted it greedily and Percy and I exited the car. The cab took off in a hurry, leaving us behind in the middle of nowhere.

"Come on." Percy said, starting up the hill and into the woods. "It's just over here." I didn't see how anything could be in this wilderness, but followed him anyways.

After walking for a few minutes, A gate came into view. Letters I couldn't read adorned the arch, and a lone pine tree stood at the entrance.

"Camp Half-Blood." Percy said, arm outswept. "My summer home, and possibly yours as well, if I can clear you with Mr. D, though I'm sure Chiron won't mind..." He was starting to ramble and he walked forward through the gate.

How bad can this be? I thought. You've battled monsters, befriended a half-goat, and stood in the presence of gods. You've got this. I followed Percy forward-

-when all of a sudden, I was forced backwards. Strange. I took a step forward, and was pushed back again.

"Um...Percy. Something's wrong." I said, and Percy stopped. I took a step forward, and was once again pushed back. "See!"

Percy approached me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me after him. Right where the invisible wall was, he was jerked to a halt as my body hit it.

"Hold still." Percy said, and pulled on my arm, the wall still not giving.

"You're pulling my arm out of its socket! Stop!" I shouted, and he let go. I picked up a rock from the ground, and chucked it at the invisi-wall. It soared through it. Well hmph. I clapped and held my hands up to the wall, then walked towards it again. Same result. "Is there a password or something?!"

"How should I know? I've never seen this happen before!" Percy threw up his hands in exasperation. "Open sesame! All you need is love! Mellon! Something!" He shouted, but nothing happened. "Darn, I was sure 'mellon' would work."

"No idiot, you're not trying to make an elf-made door open." A voice said. Percy turned around to see Annabeth approaching us. "All he needs is permission. Observe." She cracked her knuckles. "I, Annabeth Chase, give you permission to enter." I didn't want to prove her right, but the sun was setting and I didn't want to be in these woods alone when it got dark. I took a tentative step forward, and passed through the barrier unhindered. Percy stuck his tounge out at Annabeth, who smiled with pride. "It's a magical border to keep mortals out." My turn to glare at her. "Come on, Chiron wants to talk to you."

When we were clear of the trees, the entire camp lay before me. In the center, cabins were arranged in a horseshoe pattern, twelve buildings in all. To the left of the cabins was a large lodge and mess hall. To the right and behind the cabins a large field filled was with campers. I couldn't see what they were doing from this distance. And to the far side of the property was a large lake, with several boats out on it.

"Ok, ok, don't kill yourself, you'll have enough time to take it all in later." Annabeth said, and Percy pulled me behind him. We walked towards the main lodge, made entirely out of wood. Another sign in a language I couldn't read was displayed above the doorway, and next to it a list of rules, none of which I could read.

"Come in!" A voice called out from inside. Annabeth entered, followed by Percy, then me. "I'm glad you made it back on your quest." The voice continued. As my eyes adjusted, a lone figure in a wheelchair came into view. Wounded in war, maybe? He didn't look old enough to need one.

"Chiron, this is-"

"A.J. Monroe." the man replied. He extended his hand "I'm Chiron, demigod trainer."

I shook his hand. "A pleasure."

"I'm sure you'd like to hear all about-" Percy was cut off by a ruckus outside.

"Out of my way, puny mortals. Out. Of. My. Way. Where is he? Where is the alchemist?"

"Uh oh." Percy whispered. I wheeled around to see another man storm into the lodge.

"Mr. D, we can explain-"

"No words from you, Daughter of Athena, I will figure this out myself." The man cut Annabeth off and turned to me. "You!" He pointed at me. "What are you doing here? Who gave him permission to enter? I hope it wasn't you Peter Johnson, you're in enough trouble as it is!"

"Sir-"

The man sighed most audibly. "I've had it with your low intellect. Chiron, what is this mess." He waved his hand in my direction.

"This is the alchemist that aided Percy and Annabeth on their quest. Not only did he show great courage, but he helped to protect the demigods from an unknown enemy and helped to protect the world from the wrath of Zeus."

"I don't care if he saved Andromeda from Cetus. He's not a demigod and needs to leave."

"He is standing right here, you know." I whispered.

"Ok, that's it, out, everyone out. Chiron, you stay, I need to have some words with you." Not wanting anymore of this guy's wrath, I scurried out the door with Annabeth and Percy on my heels.

"Who's the hot-head?" I asked once we were safely out.

"That's Mr. D, the head of the camp." Percy explained. "You don't want to get on his bad side."

Too late. I thought. Suddenly, Annabeth ran out into a crowd of demigods heading towards the cabins.

"What's with the cabins?" I asked.

"Each cabin represents a god/ess. The children of said god/ess all live in that one cabin."

"So, you've got any siblings?"

"Not that I know of..." Percy trailed off. Annabeth came back, with a tall, blonde boy that was vaguely familiar in tow.

"A.J, this is Luke." Oh, so this was Luke.

He extended his hand. "Luke Castellan, Son of Hermes."

"I.e, you may want to watch your back around him." Percy leaned in and whispered. "Hermes is the trickster god." Oh great. I eyed Luke warily.

"Oh don't worry, I'm gag-free." Luke said, holding up his hands to prove it. "So, an alchemist, huh? Can you show us anything? Annabeth was going on and on about the stuff you can do," she was? "so, are you up for a demo?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why not?"

"Hey guys!" Luke shouted to a group of demigods walking from the cabins. "Wanna see something cool?" I felt a little intimidated, seeing as some of these guys' arms were as big as my neck.

"Go all out A.J!" Percy encouraged. "Show 'em your stuff."

Ok. I got this. I clapped my hands together and made a larger-than-life sized statue of myself. This earned me a round of applause from my audience, and gave me a confidence booster. Riding the pulse, I had several statues of myself appear at different intervals surrounding the audience, eliciting an even bigger response from the crowd.

"And this is the point where you tell them to kneel." Percy said, and several people chuckled at a reference which I didn't get.

I would have kept going if someone hadn't opened their mouth. "Hey!" Someone shouted. "Is your arm made of metal?" All of a sudden, I had a large, burly group of guys surrounding my automail arm, poking it and asking what it's made of.

"Um..it's automail, and I don't think you have it in your dimension-"

"Peter Johnson! What in the name of myself is going on out here?" I was saved by Mr D.

"A.J. was just-"

"Aht," he cut Percy off. "Oh great and powerful State Alchemist, your presence and Mr. Johnson's is requested." He turned to go back inside, and Percy and I followed, much to the disappointment of those interested in my arm.

"Who were those guys?" I asked.

"Children of Hephaestus." Percy explained. "A smither. Anything metal gets their attention."

"And the Peter Johnson thing?"

"Mr. D. knows my name, but just doesn't want to give me that satisfaction."

We had entered the establishment again.

"Take a seat." Chiron said. "This shouldn't take long."

In my defense, I did try to get a few words in in my behalf, but Mr. D. was just too persistent. Completely disregarding the fact that I saved the lives of demigods more than once, and stopped the unknown threat (Pride) from tormenting the planet, Mr. D. was convinced I was too dangerous to be kept around Camp.

"But he could stay in my cabin-"

"No Percy, even I must put my foot down there." Chiron said. "If he is to stay at the camp, he will stay in the Big House."

"No, anywhere but here! I stay here!" Mr. D. countered. "Let him stay with the demigod."

"But it is a break with tradition-" This argument went on for a while.

However, as much as I wanted to, I didn't think I would be staying at Camp Half Blood.

"It's ok dude." Percy whispered. "I'm sure they'll let you stay, even if it is with the Hermes kids..." I didn't like that prospect too well.

Finally, the two head-honchos had finished duking it out.

"Fine, fine, fine. The alchemist can stay in the Big House." Mr. D. conceded. "But only for the summer. I don't want to see him around here any other time. Capiche?"

"Actually, Chiron, Mr. D," I started, hoping I wouldn't regret this. "I wasn't planning on staying. Pride is still at large, and is my only hope of returning home. I plan on tracking him, capturing him, and taking him back to Amestris."

Stunned silence.

"Then let me go with-"

"No Percy, you need to stay here. This is your home, your world, but my battle. I'll be doing this world a favor, for it is very hard to defeat Pride."

"So we just argued for-" Mr. D. was cut off by Chiron.

"A wise choice, alchemist." Chiron said. "If there is anything we can do to aid you?"

"I'll be fine. I left him in Erebus, he couldn't have gone far in a few days."

"Are you sure, buddy?" Percy asked.

I looked him in the eye. "Positive."

I left the next morning at dawn. Chiron had packed me a backpack full of supplies, but I knew it wouldn't last where I was going. Thanking the demigods profusely, I set off on my quest. However, the elements were against me. This was virgin territory for me; I had no notion of currency, no mode of transportation, and no clue as where to start. The days ticked by, one after the other. I ran out of supplies after a few weeks, and was reduced to stealing and sleeping in the dark alleyways of every city and town. Shorter and shorter, the sun was in the sky, and colder and colder the days grew. All the while, no sign of Pride, no sign of my chance to get home.

I stayed away from New York, whether because I was afraid I would quit or if it would remind me of the comfort I left behind, I'll never know. I made it to every state in those months, every city, every township, every small highway oasis. I scoured the Rocky Mountains and the Great Forests of the Appalachians, all to no avail. No trace of Pride at all, no note, no sign. I wondered if he had jumped dimensions and left for good.

June gave way to July, August was soon to follow. It was mid-September when my body couldn't take it any more. With the last of my strength I made my way back to New York, to the large apartment building, to apartment 817. I couldn't believe it was my own arm that reached up to ring the doorbell, my finger moving forward to push it. I didn't think my ears could hear the footsteps approach the door, and the sound of the locks releasing, and the door creaking open. My body was tired, weak, broken, and energy spent. I looked upon the familiar face of Sally Jackson, housewife.

I opened my mouth, and said before I collapsed, "If it's all the same to you, I'll take you up on that offer now."

**Well, how was my sister's latest installment? (I promise that I'll work harder next time) was it good, bad, or do you miss my amazing writing style? Please keep reviewing!**


	16. One Year Over

**WE ARE BACK WITH ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER! HOPE YOU LIKE IT! Disclaimer: i don't own fullmetal alchemist, percy jackson, or any other references that we make. the beginning of the chapter may be a little slow, it is a transition between stories. Thank you for your patience -pH & Phoenix**

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Well, I shall forever thank my half-decent luck that I decided to return to New York, because it was the best decision I ever made. It turns out that, in my months of absence, Mrs. Jackson had kept a room ready incase I ever decided to return. Talk about creepy.

I stayed in the apartment for a week, and by then I had almost demolished the east wall of my bedroom from boredom (I think my head actually went through the wall once...). Percy was good about it though, spending his time after homework introducing me to American culture.

Movies were one thing. I found out about a saga called Star Wars, Percy saying that it was a 'classic'. We got through all 6 movies in one sitting. Percy also introduced me to the concept of a 'superhero' (which I instantly equated to a State Alchemist, thank you very much), and showed me the chronicles of six such heroes (one of whom was a voluptuous female who reminded me so much of the homunculus Lust... *sighs contentedly*). After seeing an epic movie where they all come together to defeat an alien army, I knew I was hooked (I got the whole "and this is where you tell them to kneel" quip Percy made earlier in the summer, and I can't wait to call Annabeth a "mewling quim" next time she gets on my nerves).

All in all, my introduction to American culture went quite well, though I feel it is blatantly obvious I'm "not from around here", as Director Fury would say.

After about a month, I was still living off the welfare of Mrs. Jackson.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked one morning at breakfast. "I've been living under your hospitality, which is greatly appreciated, but I feel as if I need to-"

"No, don't thank me. It's the least I can do for what you did for Percy." Mrs. Jackson interrupted. "However, you can't stay like this for eternity..." she trailed off.

"He could always come to school with me." Percy suggested. "Grover stays at Camp nowadays, and I don't know anyone at my new school."

School was a sore subject. I dropped out after my father died to support my mother, and have only extensive knowledge of alchemy, courtesy of the academy in Central. I didn't think going to school was a good idea, but Mrs. Jackson was relentless. It was two against one.

My first day was ok. However, trying to get through 6 hours without anyone noticing your prosthetic limb was a challenge in itself. After a week I gave up.

"He lost it in a building collapse." Percy said. "His dad was in the military," he said, then whispered, "Afghanistan," and the kids nodded as if it was the answer to everything, "and got him a prototype prosthetic." Well, I thanked Percy then, but after that, it was non-stop popularity. In a week, I had climbed the social pyramid, and hated it. Percy constantly had to rescue me from the swamp of hottie-tots and jocks. Being popular is overrated.

Everyone told me, after I told them I was homeschooled, that I apparently don't know what I was missing. Well, let me tell you. I sure did. School was a grind. Homework took up all my free time (which used to be spent reading an interesting thing called fanfiction that Percy introduced me to and watching an interesting TV show about a man in a blue box), and 'math' and 'english' were a complete drag. The only break in my day was gym class and science (I was secretly the teacher's favorite: when no one was looking I would alchemically combine chemicals and make some awesome explosions).

Gym was a blast as well (no pun intended). Percy and I were quite good at it, Percy because, well, he is part god, and I'm in the military. Looking back, I think I could say it all started with gym class.

I wasn't the only one under Percy's wing that year. There is a homeless guy, Tyson, in Percy's grade that hangs out with us. He's super tall, like, even taller than the Major when he's showing off his muscles. His house is a cardboard box in a back alley. He is a great guy, and interesting fellow. However, when you're homeless and living off welfare, you're not the most liked kid in the school.

The rest of the year went smooth, enjoying the break at Christmas (not enjoying the mid-terms the week later though), the field trip to the zoo (Percy made 30 bucks taking people's photos with the dolphins, the creatures seem to like him), even the occasional food fight in the cafeteria.

Then, there was the last week of school. Matt Sloan was the school bully, whatever he said was law. He came up to Percy, Tyson, and I during passing. Big mistake. He made a move to pants Tyson, but he noticed and slapped Sloan across the hall. Literally. Sloan flew across the hall into the opposite lockers.

Sloan, a bit dazed, sat up. "You freak!" He shouted at Tyson, who gazed at the floor. "Why don't you crawl back to your cardboard box?"

"Let him be you stupid dickbag!" Percy shouted.

"Don't make me slap you into next week after you just returned from next year." I spat, flexing my automail arm.

Sloan pointed at us. "You...just you pricks wait until gym class. You'll get what's coming to you then!" he shouted, and ran off.

"Go to Hel!" I shouted as he ran off.

"And if she's hot, tell her I'm single!" Percy called.

I facepalmed, already knowing the answer to that.

"Dude, for being a Greek, you read too much Norse Mythology."

"Shut up, bro. I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I do not."

"Excusing me, I hate to interrupt, but it is time for class." Tyson interjected. I looked at the clock, and Tyson was right. There were only two minutes left in passing time, so we had to run to our next class (which was science, by the way).

It was the last day of school, and our teacher decided to have us do something fun. So, she said that whoever could make the biggest explosion in the shortest amount of time would win the contest...and 50 bucks. Now she had everybody's attention.

It was like the Hunger Games (yes, Percy convinced me to watch that movie since the sequel was coming out) for the equipment Mrs. Moore had put on the tables. Unlabeled bottles of multicolored, bubbling liquids were spread across the room, along with several bunsen burners, beakers, and pipettes. Due to Percy's speed and Tyson's size, we got enough equipment.

All unnecessary, though.

"In order to win this, we'd need to make an explosion that would make even Tony Stark's jaw drop to the floor" Percy said, looking around for some compound that looked like it could be potentially dangerous.

"Dude, would now be a bad time to make a volcano that came up from the bottom of the school?" I asked Percy. He responded by giving me the evil eye, so I took it as a no.

Tyson got bored and had started mixing arbitrary chemicals. An idea popped into my head.

"Just mix them." I said, throwing a benign chemical into another benign solution. "Mrs. Moore is tricking us, all these chemicals are benign, unless all combined, heated, and sprinkled with acid."

Tyson gave me a weird look, but Percy told him to just go with it. They both started pouring all the chemicals into one large beaker. I placed a burner under the beaker and Percy lit it.

"Stand back a bit guys." I cautioned, and took a step back myself. The solution started bubbling, giving off a plume of dark green smoke. I smiled. Perfect. "Ok, now I need water. Just plain water." Percy looked at me funny, but filled a test tube up with water. "Hold it still." I clapped my hands and touched the test tube. I used my body to cover up the light show created by the alchemy, but no one noticed. Water was the simplest thing to change the pH of. Luckily, at my time in Central, I met another State Alchemist (aptly titled the "pH alchemist"): she taught me some basic procedures to change a simple substance's pH (such as water and blood).

"Ok, on my mark." I told Percy. Like a badass, Percy, Tyson, and I all put on our safety goggles at the same time and braced ourselves. "Now." Percy poured just a drop into the solution, and it started to fizz. I had just enough time to push my buddies out of the way before the solution exploded, shooting a column of fire up to the ceiling and leaving a burn patch that's still there if you check. A dark green cloud started to pour from the beaker and fill the room, forcing us to evac while it cleared.

Out on the lawn, all anyone could talk about was the explosion.

"Well," Mrs. Moore said, "I think we all know who won."

Percy, Tyson, and I high-fived. Except for Sloan's threat, our day was off to a great start. We all thought that Mrs. Moore would make us split the $50.00, but instead, she gave each of us fifty bucks. We were walking on air for the rest of the morning.

But, then came gym class. By then we had all forgotten about Sloan's threat, so we just changed into our gym clothes and got ready for whatever we were doing. Our teacher, Mr. Gordon, had his face buried in a magazine, as usual. And also as usual, he was totally oblivious to what was happening around him.

"Ok everybody, we're going to play dodgeball. Set up the balls and start whenever you're ready." He said sleepily. We all thought that nothing would happen and that Sloan's threat was an empty one. Because after all, they usually were. But, today that was not the case.

"Hey bitches! You guys are totally going to get pwned in dodgeball today. Because today, I brought backup!" Sloan shouted at us. Behind him were five kids, each with a bunch of tattoos, and they were big. Like, bigger than Tyson big. They all cracked their knuckles and grinned. We all got on opposing sides, and then Sloan's team ran for the dodgeballs without giving any warning.

"Well, game on I guess." I said to nobody in particular. I just stayed where I was, and waited for the game to unfold. But instead of a regular dodgeball game, I saw the five guys that came with sloan flex their muscles and start growing. They ripped their shirts (as a subconscious reflex I expected sparkles) and grew even taller. Finally, when they were done, fireballs appeared in their hands. I looked over at Percy, and he had the same realization that I did. These were no ordinary people, they were monsters. What kind of monsters, I had no idea but they obviously weren't very friendly. One of them had a tattoo that said "Baby Cakes", and he quickly established himself as the leader.

"We shall feast today! We shall feast on godling flesh!" He yelled. Then they started throwing the fireballs at us. All the mortals screamed and ran for the doors, but one giant threw a fireball and collapsed the exit. Two more fireballs made short work of the other exits. I saw Percy reach into his pocket, and then scream,

"DAMN IT! OF ALL THE TIMES TO FORGET MY *$% #&^ PEN!" I continued observing, and saw Tyson go into rage mode. Two giants threw fireballs at him.

"DUDE! Don't just stand there! Dive to the right!" I hollered. But he ignored me, and instead caught both fireballs and flung them back at the giants, both of which disintegrated into yellow powder. And so, not one to be outdone, I transmuted some giant hands to open up a new escape route, which all of the mortals, including Sloan, took. "Hey Percy, would now be a bad time to transmute a volcano to blow up the school? Or at least the gym?" I asked.

"Considering the fact that the gym is already pretty much destroyed, I would say yes. But make it a controlled explosion, will ya?" He replied. Tyson was still holding his own with one more giant, and that left two for me. I clapped my hands, and blue tendrils of light and electricity flew across the room when I hit the ground. There was a rumbling below...then chaos. The first giant was completely blasted away by the explosion, the second was melted by the lava bursting out of the rift in the earth, but the last one, the giant with the "baby cakes" tattoo, was unharmed. He jumped towards us, tackled Percy, and shouted triumphantly,

"I win! I shall bring home a doggie bag for Baby Cakes!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it." said a voice. Suddenly, a bronze blade poked through the giant's chest. The giant disintegrated, and behind it, holding her dagger, was Annabeth. "What have you been doing all day! I've been trying to talk to you since this morning!" she screamed at Percy.

"You're pretty." Tyson said to Annabeth.

"Ewwww, get it away from me!" Annabeth said, shoving Tyson towards Percy.

"Hey, that's not very nice! He's a human being too, you know." said Percy.

"Ugh, whatever. We'll discuss this later. I need to get you back to camp. There's a huge emergency."

"Can I come too?" I asked.

"And Tyson, I'm not leaving without him." Percy added.

"Well, A.J. was going to come anyway, but... whatever. You can bring your friend as well." Annabeth said, with a sigh.

"How are we going to get to camp?" I asked.

"Same way I got here." Annabeth said. "With the Gray Sisters' taxi.

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**Dalek says: "REVIEW! REVIEWWWWWWW!"**


	17. Chaos at Camp

**Blah blah blah all the usual disclaimers enjoy**

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Ahh, nothing like the heat of battle to stop you from asking questions. Percy and I had followed Annabeth out of the hole in the school, the giants unfortunately on our heels. I had yet to see what the Gray Sisters' Taxi was, but, despite being incredibly hyped up, I wasn't too excited to find out.

Annabeth stopped in a back alley, and after looking over her shoulder a couple times, took out a gold coin and threw it at the pavement. She said something in Ancient Greek, and the coin sank into the ground. About five seconds later, a gray taxi pulled up to the street corner we were standing on. You know how they tell you never to get into a car with strangers? Well that lesson just went right out the door. The taxi door opened and we got in.

"Where to?" A screechy voice asked.

"Camp Half-Blood. And make it fast." Annabeth said.

"We don't transport his kind." The voice replied, gesturing at me.

"I'll pay double the fare." Annabeth told the voice.

"DEAL!" the voice shouted, and the door closed behind Percy.

The taxi sped off, and we slid across the back seat as the driver skidded around a corner. "Well excuse me if 'my kind' isn't good enough for some of us. Who is that bitchy old lady anyway?" I asked Annabeth.

"This 'bitchy old lady' is our quickest and safest way to camp. She's one of the three gray sisters. The ones who Perseus tricked into telling him where to find the gorgons and Medusa." She explained.

"Those were dark times! Quite! We could not see for ages! It took us forever to find the eyeball and the tooth in that pond!" One lady shouted.

"Speaking of eyeball, its my turn to have it! I'm the one driving anyway." the driver yelled, reaching for another one of the old ladies (or gray sisters, whichever works). That put them all in an uproar and they all started fighting over who could have the eyeball. Then one lady bit the other and she screamed, and the fighting got worse. Then I spoke up.

"WILL YOU STUPID WOMEN PLEASE STOP FIGHTING?! WE'RE KIND OF IN A RUSH HERE!" I shouted as loud as I could. Oddly enough, the gray sisters stopped fighting.

"You know, he reminds me of Jason. He was such a handsome young man. But he was in such a rush." one sister sighed.

"Yes, and he was also so rude as to completely take us out of his story!" said the driver.

"It wasn't even gray sisters' taxi back then. It was gray sisters' chariot." said the one with the eyeball. The drive was quiet for a few more seconds, but then the driver punched the sister with the eyeball so hard that it came out of its socket.

"Pick it up! Give it to me!" shouted the driver.

"You want me to pick up an eyeball?! You're crazier than I thought!" I replied. The fighting continued.

"I'm losing control! Accelerating!" The driver shouted.

"What does she mean by that?" I asked Annabeth.

"Without the eyeball, she can't tell where anything is, so she'll speed up and speed up until we get crushed by the G-Forces!" Annabeth yelled back. I knew that I was going to have to pick up the eyeball. I tried to lean forward, but the G-Force was pushing me back. I looked to the left. Out the window, everything I could see was a huge blur. I leaned forward with all my might, grabbed the eyeball, and shoved it into the driver's face.

We came to a screeching halt that was so sudden that Percy shook a filling loose. The Sisters pushed us out so fast that they forgot to charge us. Annabeth was going to say something, but they sped off and disappeared into their dust. Despite their lack of driving skills, they had the courtesy (or luck, I'm still trying to figure that out) to drop us off right in front of camp. I was glad to be back, and so was Percy. Tyson had a puzzled look on his face, and Annabeth was expressionless.

"Well don't just stand there all day, they need us!" Annabeth shouted and then ran towards the hill.

Percy was next, followed by me and lastly Tyson. I was a bit hesitant to cross the property line, remembering the cement wall feeling that I got last time I hit it. But I stepped through with no problems, and I looked around.

What I saw was not pretty. All the cabins were fighting for their lives. There were giant flaming bronze bulls that were running rampant in camp, and they were totally kicking half-blood butt. The Ares cabin grouped together and started charging a bull in a phalanx pattern. But it was to no avail, because the bulls charged straight through it with no difficulty. Without another thought, I charged into battle.

My first move was to transmute a javelin. I hurled it at the bull, but the smug bastard just stood there and watch it soar over its head. Regardless of my miss, the bull now had it's fiery eyes on me. Time to play matador! I created a red handkerchief from my gym shirt and side-stepped quickly as the bull zoomed past me. It skidded to a stop, then turned on me again. Throwing down the kerchief, I clapped my hands together and knelt down. A spike protruded from the ground and met the bull at full force, splitting the creature's skull and taking it down. I had originally thought they were monsters, but this thing didn't disintegrate. It just lay there on the ground, not moving.

I glanced around, surveying the battle, and noticed Tyson pounding against the magical pixie barrier. Darn those magical pixie barriers.

What the Hell, i thought, I'll give it a try. "I give Tyson permission to enter camp!" Nothing happened. If there wasn't a battle raging, the magical pixie crickets would be chirping. Annabeth shot me a look like I was the dumbest person on the planet, and she shouted the same thing. She got a much more theatrical response than I was a clap of thunder louder than a cannon shot, and Tyson came charging across the property line. He ran straight for a bull.

One of the Ares campers shouted, "Hey! The bulls spew fire idiot! You'll be roasted alive!" but Tyson ignored him. The bull shot a blast of fire at him, but Tyson was unscathed. The bull was completely dumbfounded, and Tyson punched the bull's head so hard, the metal crumpled and crushed its brain.

The other campers were inspired by us, and charged again, this time with a much better effect. Bulls were getting speared and were falling all over the field. They were leaking motor oil, and finally, one by one, the bulls collapsed in a celestial bronze heap. That's when I got an idea. I went over to a downed bull and clapped my hands.

"Miss Rockbell, please don't kill me for this when I get home." I silently prayed. In a flash of light, the celestial bronze from the bull combined with the outer plating of my auto-mail. I stood up and clapped again, making my arm a sword. Hacking down on the bull, my arm went through it like butter. "YES! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ACTUALLY WORKED!" I shouted. I moved my arm around to see if the upgrade would decrease my mobility at all, but to my surprise, (and joy) it did not...it actually felt lighter. I walked back to where Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson were standing. They wondered what my exclamation was about, but they said nothing.

"Nice job mortal. You fight pretty well." said some big buff guy holding a sword covered in motor oil.

"You better thank him. Getting a compliment from an Ares camper about how you fight is almost as hard as getting into the Isles of Eternal Bliss in Hell." Annabeth whispered to me. Taking her advice, I thanked the kid.

Another camper approached Percy. "We better get you to Tantalus and Mr. D. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you" The kid said sarcastically.

"Wait. You mean Tantalus the dead guy? The one who sacrificed his son to the gods and got sent to hell for it? The one who can't eat?" Percy asked.

"Yes, that Tantalus" The kid replied.

"Since when do we employ dead people? What happened to Chiron?"

"Chiron got sacked when Thalia's tree got sick." The kid said, gesturing towards the top of the hill. "Tantalus is the new activities director." Percy and Annabeth couldn't believe their ears, but I couldn't believe my eyes.

I looked to where the kid was pointing, and I saw Thalia's tree. I once saw it in all its glory tall and proud on top of the hill. But now, the needles were yellow and the bark was peeling. Thalia's tree was dying.

* * *

**DID YOU LIKE IT? PLEASE REVIEW I AM DYING FROM LACK OF REVIEWS. I HAVE A FEVER, AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE REVIEWS! (I DON'T OWN SNL) **

**P.S. I WILL UPDATE MORE IF MORE PEOPLE REVIEW!**


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